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Examples – Interpersonal Skills are More Important than Hard Skills

Posted on | July 21, 2011

Have you ever wondered why having the best answer to a business problem sometimes makes NO impact at all?  In school, we were always incentivized to get the best answer – which led to good grades and job offers.  So naturally I brought that same mentality to work.  I would work tirelessly to get the perfect, best answer, but was often disappointed when nobody seem that interested in hearing it.

It took me five years to learn that the best answer is not as good as a practical answer that have executive buy in and champions who are willing to implement the solution.    This is just one interpersonal skills example of why interpersonal skills are more important than hard skills.  I think of hard skills as what it takes to develop the perfect solution to a business issue.  I define Interpersonal skills as our ability to build relationships with others to effectively understand their circumstances, communicate our proposed solution based on their business reality, and persuade them to take action.   Only when we combine soft skills like interpersonal skills with our hard skills can we be the most effective in business

Here is another example of why interpersonal skills are more important than hard skills.  I went to the dentist yesterday to do a routine cleaning.   I was given a new dentist (Dr. Vo) at the same office.  I’m not particular scared of dentists nor fond of the experience.   It’s just something to get done.   As soon as she started examining me, she started “scolding” me about waiting too long for a cleaning (it’s been a year) and not flossing enough as I had gum bleedings and sensitivities in some teeth.   It made me tense but I said nothing.  Then she told me I may have the beginning of cavities on three teeth (no actual cavity yet) and she started again on telling me that I waited too long for a cleaning.    After using the same tone to “scold” me three times, I asked her to stop repeating herself.  After the cleaning, I promptly told the front desk to always give me only my old dentist (Dr Sood) for future appointments even if I have to wait longer to get an appointment.

My experience there is what prompted me to write this article. Was my cleaning well done this time? Yes.   Did Dr. Vo gave me the best diagnosis?  Probably.  Dr. Vo had all the hard skills to give me her best answer.  Yet, I left with a “bad taste” in my mouth because of her interpersonal skills.   Nobody wants to feel stupid or wrong during a business transaction even if they were.   The business world is not too different.  People and companies value good customer experience, practical solutions, and a tactful way for communication.   We may think business decisions are made mainly based on logic, but it would be a naive assumption.  Here are three more interpersonal skills examples illustrating their importance in business

  • Major deals are signed on golf courses – why?  Interpersonal skills were used to build close relationships (through common interest like golf) and the trust built using these interpersonal skills leads to signed deals.
  • When other logic factors are equal (like price, convenience, delivery time, etc..), people usually choose the vendor where they had prior good relationships instead of a new ones.  Sometimes,  people will even choose a higher price with their current vendor because they value the existing experience rather than wanting to risk having a bad experience with a new, lower priced one.
  • A mediocre solution that have executive buy-in will get implemented over a more perfect solution created in a black box.  This is the lesson I learned in consulting.  It’s great to be smart (hard skills), but if I don’t have the interpersonal skills to understand my clients, what’s practical to implement in the company’s current circumstances, and how to best persuade them to take action, I will not be able to make any impact.
These interpersonal skills examples all show an important lesson especially for those with exceptional hard skills, like engineers, programmers, accountant, scientist etc…  Many struggle to transition from these roles to management because of either1) lack of understanding of the importance of soft skills like interpersonal skills and communication skills or 2) don’t know how to develop these skills.    One thing is sure, if you want to reach senior management level in any business, interpersonal skills to develop relationships with your team, peers, clients, and vendors will be essential.

    I can help you improve your soft skills including interpersonal skills.  Start today by signing up for my free newsletter series -How to Succeed like an Executive – exclusive content (not published on my blog).   You can learn tips on how to improve a soft skill in 5 minutes and apply them at work immediately.


    I look forward to your comments.  I am always in your corner.
    - Lei

    6 comments

    Comments

    6 Responses to “Examples – Interpersonal Skills are More Important than Hard Skills”

    1. Marty
      July 21st, 2011 @ 11:02 am

      I was an engineer for 30 years. My comfort zone is definitely in the area of hard skills. Everything Lei said is correct in my experience. One way I was able to implement soft soft skills into my work was to simply look at it as a “hard skill”. You have to practice and improve the implementation but you can also put “interpersonal interactions” on your project task list. Maybe don’t put this on paper but schedule it like any other task.

    2. Lei Han
      July 21st, 2011 @ 12:12 pm

      Marty, that’s a great point on how to improve your soft skills like interpersonal skills – treat it like a hard skill and put it on your task list. I would also add you can use a systematic set of steps to think through what are important in interpersonal skills each time you practice – steps include 1) think about the perspective and motivation of the person you are interacting with 2) think about what you hope the relationship to be. 3) think about how you plan to approach them and before you do, how would you feel if you were approached that way. etc… These initial steps can save us from damaging relationship unknowningly or based on impulse. For more details on all the steps to improve a soft skill, sign up for my free newsletter on the sidebar. Thanks for reading.

    3. Ric Phillips
      July 21st, 2011 @ 4:39 pm

      I can vouch for the accuracy of this article! As a busy Communication Coach/Trainer in Toronto I can tell you that I always inevitably have this conversation of hard skills vs. soft skills, and the importance placed on them at work. We have a lot of immigrants who get hired as accountants, engineers, IT consultants etc. due to their hard skills and technical knowledge, but hit a ‘glass ceiling’ due to their inability to learn the art of soft skills. They keep me very busy.
      Thanks for the great article!

    4. Erich Lagasse
      December 22nd, 2011 @ 8:02 am

      I think that the dentist example is a great way to describe why some people don’t develop their people skills as much- the don’t have a need to. Yet, even on the medical field people are realizing the importance of people skills and why all of us should try to work on them. We have published our review http://academy.justjobs.com/improve-your-people-skills-and-emotional-intelligence on how to improve your people skills.

    5. Caroline Nderitu-Benjamin
      September 28th, 2012 @ 11:20 am

      Soft skills are truly king. We cannot expect to move others or move with others in any direction is we do not connect with them at a personal level.

    6. Kate Ziegler
      May 14th, 2013 @ 4:19 am

      It’s a whole new world of work, and interpersonal skills are key. Organizational change, diversity and electronic communications have changed the face of the workplace. Today, more than ever, success depends upon the combined cooperation, commitment and action of people—both face-to-face and across electronic and cyber channels. That’s why your interpersonal skills are so critical to your own effectiveness as a manager.

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  • Lei Han - Career Coach

     Stanford engineer and  Wharton MBA |  Business / marketing  executive with 15 years of corporate experience | Mentored 100+ professionals | Screened / interviewed hundreds of candidates | Connect with me 
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