We all want to find our purpose—yet nobody ever teaches us how. We grow up comparing ourselves to others, assuming they’ve got it all figured out, while we’re the ones stuck in limbo. Truth is, most of us feel just as lost. In fact, up to 90% of people struggle with “purpose anxiety,” the unsettling feeling of not having a clear life direction.
So take a breath. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re human—and you’re definitely not alone. I recently read a Stanford Magazine article called 6 Things Nobody Told You About Purpose that really struck a chord with me and can help you.
It reminded me that finding purpose in life isn’t something you “arrive at” once and for all—it’s something you live into, piece by piece. And when I paired their insights with my own reflections, I started to see my journey differently. Here’s what stood out to me:
1. Purpose isn’t about passion—it’s about direction
We’re often told to “follow your passion,” but passions come and go. Purpose is steadier. It’s more like a compass than a lightning bolt.
For me, this was freeing. I’ve had many passions—consulting, digital strategy, writing—but my deeper direction has always been about helping others grow. That’s the throughline that keeps showing up, whether I was leading teams in banking, coaching a friend through burnout, or experimenting with AI tools to help nonprofits fundraise. The passion shifts, but the direction stays.
2. You don’t need one grand purpose
This was a big relief. Purpose can be plural. You can have purpose in your career, in your family, in how you show up in your community.
For a long time, I thought I had to discover “the one thing.” But looking back, my life has never been about just one focus. At work, I found purpose in solving tough problems with my teams. At home, my purpose is in supporting my kids as they grow into who they want to be. And now, in this new chapter of life after leaving full-time work, purpose is emerging in helping others navigate transitions. Different pieces of meaning weave together into a fuller picture.
3. Purpose doesn’t mean clarity every day
Sometimes purpose looks crystal clear, and sometimes it feels fuzzy. And that’s normal.
I’ve had days since leaving my job where I thought, Yes, I’m exactly where I should be. Other days, I’ve felt completely adrift, questioning if I’ve made the right choices. Reading this reminder gave me a sigh of relief—the fog isn’t failure. It’s just part of the process of living into something new.
4. Purpose grows through action, not reflection alone
This one hit me hard. You can’t just think your way into purpose—you have to live your way into it.
For me, that’s meant saying “yes” to experiments: coaching conversations, volunteering for a nonprofit’s AI project, meeting new people for coffee just to see where the conversation might lead. Each small step has taught me something, and slowly I see the threads connecting. Purpose is stitched together through doing, not just thinking.
5. Purpose often comes from pain or challenge
We don’t usually talk about this, but some of our deepest meaning comes from the struggles we’ve faced.
For me, growing up with a constant push to achieve left scars, but it also gave me empathy for others who feel “never enough.” That experience now shapes how I coach, how I write, and how I connect with people. Purpose doesn’t always come from the shiny moments—it often comes from the hard ones.
6. You’re never “done” finding purpose
Purpose is less like a finish line and more like a lifelong conversation. It shifts as we grow.
At 20, my purpose was proving myself. At 40, it was about building and leading. Now in my 50s, it’s about sharing, mentoring, and giving back. I suspect it will keep evolving. And that’s okay—maybe even the point.
What You Can Do Today to Move Toward Purpose
If purpose is a journey, then the best way to start is with one small step. Here are two
simple practices you can try this week:
1. Notice the moments that give you energy.
Instead of searching for one big purpose, pay attention to the small moments in your day that feel meaningful. Maybe it’s a conversation where you really connected, a project that sparked curiosity, or helping someone solve a problem. Jot down one of those moments at the end of each day for a week—you’ll start to see patterns emerge.
2. Take one tiny action aligned with what matters most.
Purpose grows through doing, not just thinking. Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today that feels aligned with what I value? It could be reaching out to encourage a friend, signing up for a class you’ve been curious about, or carving out an hour to create something. Small actions build momentum, and momentum builds meaning.
The takeaway: Purpose is a journey, not a verdict
The biggest gift from the Stanford article was this reminder: you don’t need to have it all figured out. Feeling uncertain doesn’t mean you’re lost—it means you’re human.
Purpose isn’t a lightning bolt. It’s noticing where you already feel alive and taking small steps in that direction. In fact, you may already be living more of your purpose than you realize—in those everyday moments of connection, curiosity, and contribution.
So instead of asking, “What is my purpose?” try asking: “Where in my life do I already feel most alive—and how can I do more of that?” That’s how purpose grows—through what you’re already living.
Lei