Real stories

Speaking Up in Meetings – Why and How to Do it

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speaking up

When I first worked at McKinsey after college, I was pretty scared of speaking up.   I distinctly remember sitting in the large conference room with another analyst, our manager, the senior manager, and the Partner on the project, to discuss our strategy for a consumer business client.

The Partner discussed a strategy that frankly didn’t make sense to me, but he had 10+ years of experience, so I didn’t say anything. I was convinced that I didn’t know any better — I was only an Electrical Engineer with little business experience. I had some thoughts and suggestions, but I wasn’t sure if they were sound. ...  read more

Dealing with Difficult Personalities – What Not to Do

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difficult-personalities

How should we deal with difficult personalities?  I have been thinking about how to write about this topic for three weeks now.  I realized it’s hard, because there are so many potential dimensions and scenarios to this question:

  1. Who is this person that you consider “difficult” – a senior executive, boss, peer, colleague, customer, vendor, or support staff?
  2. What is your definition of “difficult” – does this person appear elusive, rude, incompetent, belligerent, passive aggressive, unreliable, back-stabbing, etc..?
  3. What do you need to accomplish with this person, but it’s been “difficult” – are you trying to get information, delegate work, reach a common goal, get a buy-in, etc…?
  4. What could you accomplish if this person stopped being “difficult” – would you get more done, have less stress, feel happier at work, etc.?
  5. What are the risks to your job if this person continues to be “difficult” towards you – tense work environment, slow work progress, cannot work around them, etc?
  6. Does this person seem “difficult” to everyone, or just you?

I decided to use one of my past experiences with a “difficult personality” to illustrate how we can deal with these types of situations.  At my last job, I had to work well with a lot of cross functional colleagues in order to get information and achieve results.  I remember the first meeting I had with a new colleague (let’s call her Anna).  Anna is a data team lead who provided invaluable data analysis for my projects.  She had a great reputation for being smart and excellent at her job.  I also met her casually in the hallway, and thought she was quite nice. ...  read more

Patience – Use it to Speed Up Results

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patience

I was driving my daughter, Isabel, today to her little gym class today.  It was morning rush hour, and the streets were crazy. Pedestrians were blatantly jaywalking in front of my car when I had the green light; cab drivers were swerving past me just to break hard again for a red light; a car was literally on my butt, trying to pass me on a one-land street — and I was driving above the speed limit! ...  read more

Giving Feedback – When and How to Do it

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We all have worked with smart colleagues that have development areas we see.  As humans, we naturally have tendencies to want to help others.   It’s important to know when and how to give them feedback that can help them further succeed.

Question – How to Give Feedback to a Co-worker?

What is the best way to tell a valuable coworker that he/she is talking too much?  This person is smart, dedicated and responsible, but often goes into too much detail about stuff you don’t find important or interesting. He/she lacks skill to make distinction on what is really relevant to say and feels insecure or awkward when there is even a short silence. How to approach this person without hurting her feelings? ...  read more

Inner Excellence and Career Success

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inner excellence

I just returned to work 3 months ago after having a second baby.  While I haven’t been away from work too long, I was surprised to find myself insecure – Do I still know how to work? Are my analytical, leadership, and communication skills up to par? Can I still deal with difficult personalities and office politics?  Ultimately, am I still as good as I used to be? ...  read more

Let Them Pee on the Tree

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deal with boss

When I worked at Deloitte, I had to write a lot of proposals (documents to sell consulting work).  I remember one time my team and I worked hard for a week to pull together a kick-a** proposal for a high tech company.  We worked late and came in early to create a good draft.  On Thursday evening, I finally had a chance to review the proposal with the Partner and Senior Manager. ...  read more

Don’t Be So Humble

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i am amazing

On Sunday, I was hanging out with some friends, and one of them complimented me: “Wow, Lei, you have lost a lot of weight. You look amazing…” I felt pretty good, since I had been trying to lose the weight I gained from having a second child. However, I immediately replied, “Thanks, but I still have about 10 lbs. to go. It’s been a process, and this last 10 lbs. has been quite stubborn.” Afterwards, I thought, “Why did I say that? Instead of continuing to feel good, I immediately started focusing on what was not working for me, and re-directed the conversation to something less positive.” ...  read more