Last month, I started something new — something simple but meaningful. I wrote a letter to my dad for his 81st birthday. That letter wasn’t about making peace or fixing the past. It was about connection — sharing small but cherished memories that shaped how I see him, and showing him, in writing, how much he means to me.
After writing that letter, I realized how powerful it felt to express what’s often left unsaid. So this month, for my mom’s birthday, I decided to do the same.
This is the beginning of a new tradition for me. I plan to write a letter to each of my parents every year on their birthdays — and maybe even more often. Because love deserves to be said out loud, while I still can. Here’s the letter I wrote to my mom today for her birthday.
A Letter to My Mom
This is the English version. The Chinese version is what I actually mailed 🙂 Thanks to ChatGPT translation.
Dear Mom,
🎂 Happy “Second 80th” Birthday! 🎉 I know you’ve said that after 80, you’re done
celebrating birthdays — but to me, you’ll always deserve to be celebrated, every year, because you’ve done so much for me throughout your life.
On this special day, I want to share a few memories that I’ve always kept close to my heart:
❤️ When I was little, I loved napping next to you, holding your arm. That feeling of comfort and safety has stayed with me all these years. Even now, I still wish I could nap with you like that.
❤️ Whenever I was sick, you always took such good care of me — holding me, gently stroking my head, and making me warm congee or egg and noodle soup. Now it’s my turn. From now on, whenever you’re not feeling well, please let me take care of you.
❤️ You always stood between me and Dad’s tough words, reminding me that I was already good enough just as I am. Your encouragement and understanding were always my source of strength.
❤️ When Isabel was born, you flew over and spent three full weeks taking care of me and her, day and night, so I could recover peacefully. That kind of love is something I will never forget.
❤️ I also cherish all the times we enjoyed good food together. Whether it was the seafood pot in Chinatown or the delicious meals at Haven on the cruise, seeing you happy and enjoying yourself made me so happy. I hope, in the days ahead, you will continue to enjoy life to the fullest — because you truly deserve it.
Mom, today and every day, I want to celebrate you. You are my rock, you are my heart.
And now, it’s my turn to take care of you. I may not always know the best way to do it, but please tell me what you need — because it means everything to me to be able to give back to you now.
I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday! ❤️
Why I’m Writing Letters to My Parents
When I wrote the last article on this, it was a simple effort to reflect on our relationship and connect in a new way. That experience stayed with me and inspired this letter to my mom.
And now, it’s become more than a one-time gesture. It’s the beginning of an annual tradition — one that celebrates their lives, their love, and the memories we’ve built together.
In our Chinese culture, love is often shown through actions, not words. But as my parents age into their 80s, I want them to have both — the actions and the words.
How This Impacts Career and Life Happiness
You may wonder — what does writing letters to my parents have to do with career, success, or life satisfaction? The truth is, it has everything to do with it.
When we pause to reflect, reconnect, and express gratitude to the people who shaped us, it anchors us. It reminds us who we are beyond titles, deadlines, or responsibilities.
It strengthens our emotional well-being and helps us carry less regret.
In today’s fast-moving world, we’re so focused on doing that we forget the importance of being — being grateful, being connected, being human.
Practicing reflection and expressing heartfelt emotions — whether to family, friends, or mentors — can actually make us better leaders, better colleagues, and happier people.
It grounds us in what matters and softens the stress of daily life.
Emotional connection fuels our resilience, our purpose, and our overall happiness. And the more we practice it, the easier it becomes to lead with authenticity — not just at home, but at work and everywhere in between.
An Invitation to You
If you’re reading this, I invite you to try this practice too. Whether your relationship with your parents is close, complicated, or somewhere in between — a letter can open a new door to connection.
- You don’t need perfect words.
- You don’t need a special occasion.
- Just start with one letter. A memory. A thank-you. A reflection you’ve never shared.
Because one day, you’ll want to know you said the things that mattered most — while you still could. And in doing so, you may find yourself feeling more grounded, more connected, and ultimately, happier in every part of your life.
Lei