Self awareness

Is it Better to Be the Fastest in a Slow Group or a Slow one in a Fast Group?

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For the last 5 years, I have been running the 15K hot chocolate run with a friend. We have been late to start the race for the last two years so ended up running with folks that are much slower than our speed. As soon as I crossed the start line, I started passing people left and right. At first, it was a great feeling, but then I started getting blocked to run any faster as there were simply too many walkers. ...  read more

New Year Inspiration – 5 Ways to Become a Better Version of Myself

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Happy New Year!  Wow, its already 4th week of January.  Where did the time go?  I have been meaning to write about my new year aspirations.  I am sharing them to help me be more committed.  I hope they can also help you.

Last week, I saw this great article – In the New Year, Become a Better Version of Yourself.  It inspired me to come up with these five way to  become a better version of myself.  All of them are hard for me, but they are also great aspirations for the year – how to evolve who I am as a professional and a human being. 🙂

Be Patient with myself and others – I am not a patient person.  I tend to interrupt people in discussions.  I get impatient when people are slow to understand or respond.  I like to rush my kids when they are slow to shower, clean up, brush their teeth. You get the picture.  This will be one of the hardest one to adhere to..  I think deep down I believe if I just rush others and myself, I will get more done.   It sounds silly now that I have articulated it :-).   This year, I will try to work on the following:

  • Interrupt less and listen more.
  • Remember to pause before I react to an unexpected situations.   Let things cool.  Sometimes they resolve on their own.
  • Accept mundane things will take time.  Dedicate the time to get it done right.   This one stems from an experience I had just last week. I upgraded my work phone.  It probably should have taken about an hour.  It took me about 7 hours over 3 days instead.   It was however completely self-inflicted.  I was trying to save that hour by multitasking this while working.  Let’s just say I learned the hard way quickly rushing has unintended results :-). C’est la vie
  • Be judicious about what I must do right away.  As a productive person, I tend to want to do many things a day to feel accomplished – a “hamster” on a never-ending “hamster wheel.” Need to remember that less is more.
  • Be patient with my kids.
  • Allow myself to slow down and enjoy the journey – I am trying to ramp up on a big role this year. Even though I have until April to do it, I can tell I am rushing to do it faster.    I will enjoy this journey much more if I pace myself.

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    Are You on the Right Career Path? Ask Yourself These 4 Questions

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    right career path

    I just found out a close friend has cancer.  I was shocked by the news.  Although her cancer is highly treatable, it was a complete surprise.  She will need to go through 6 months of chemo and hell to recover.  I share this with you to help you step back from the daily grind and see the big picture.  Life is short and finite.

    • Are you on the right career path?
    • Are you doing what you are suppose to be doing?
    • If you were told you have cancer today, would you make different choices in your career and life?

    Our life is a gift.  Don’t wait until you have shocking news in your life to reexamine.  It’s never too early to reassess or take a different direction altogether.   Today, I want to help you answer these questions.

    Many of us work long hours, forgo time with family, friends, and skip vacations, so we can get ahead in our career.    But do we know why we do it?  The superficial answer is to make more money, or get promoted, or be recognized.   But I would argue none of that really help us feel fulfilled.

    Our career path must have a deeper meaning for it to be worth the effort and the time away from our families.   That meaning will also help ground us if we receive sad unexpected news like this from a friend or from a doctor about our own health.

    Here are 4 questions to help you examine your current career path and trajectory?

    Question 1: Does my job & career make a difference somehow?  I have shared the definition of success before.  It’s not about material status, and much more about our level of contribution to others.  Making a difference comes in all forms.   For example, it can be about

  • earning money so I can support my family and my kids’ education
  • making a positive impact to the customers my company serves (whether with a new product I launch or solving service issues painlessly)
  • coaching those on my team so they can learn from my experience and skills

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    What Makes Us Happy & Motivated at Work – Three Ways to Gauge

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    happy and motivated at work

    More than a year ago, I changed jobs and managers within the same company.  I went from having one of the worst leaders I have ever experienced in my career, to having one of the best.  On my first day with this new leader, she asked me a simple question – what make you happy at work?   What was different about her is I realized she really cared and wanted to know my answer.  I remember being a bit unprepared and told her what came to mind quickly

  • Supportive, trusting leader
  • Meaningful, impactful work
  • Great people to work with
  • Work life balance

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    Should I be Working While Sick?

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    working while sick

    Should I be working while sick?  The answer ideally is no.  If I am sick, I should go home and rest.  Come back when I feel better.  The real world however is not that simple, especially when we are talking about everyday illnesses, such as a cold or a flu.

    Every time I feel unwell, I debate whether to take time off or how to work while sick.  This is because in the modern world of Paid Time Off and tight deadlines for busy professionals, we have to figure out the tradeoffs between suddenly taking time off vs the impact of it on our work.  Here are five key considerations for many of us.

    1. Can I truly let go of the work and rest if I take sick days. Whether I recover quickly  depends on whether I can truly rest.  Depending on my work situation, I may stress more if I tried to not work abruptly and rest.
    2. Taking sick days will eat into my vacation days.   Most companies no longer give us sick days separate from our vacation days.  Instead we get Paid Time Off (PTO).  Therefore, taking 3 days off to recover from a cold, just means 3 less days of vacation that year.   Is it worth it?
    3. Will resting even help me recover?  I may choose to take some time off, but it may not help me recover faster, as some colds will just need to take its course.  That is sort of why my husband would argue, a cold without a fever is just discomfort, not sickness.   Just let it take its course.  I cannot rush it anyway.
    4. Will the work be worse if I went away suddenly?  This is a serious consideration. Ever go on vacation and come back to twice amount of work and stress?  Well, this would be similar or worse since the time off is unplanned.
    5. How will this affect my reputation?  If I am presenting at an important leadership meeting, can I just say no at the last minute if I am sick?  should I?  If there is a key deadline coming up, do I have the luxury to take any time off to rest or should I just rest after the deadline is met?

    I was sick for about a week just now, which prompted me to write this article.   I noticed the internal conflict I had and wondered how many others also struggles with this question – Should I be working while sick?

    When the work is light, the answer is simple – I work from home and take it easy until I am better.  I don’t need to take time off as the work is mellow enough to let me rest here and there. When the work is hectic, this is where the decision of whether to work and how to work while sick matters. This is also where soft skills like self awareness, self confidence, communication, and delegation can guide me to the right approach every time.

  • Self Awareness – Know thyself – I know I would have a hard time resting if I all of a sudden took time off for a cold.   I would feel guilty especially if I didn’t have a fever.  I would end up worrying more about the work that I left behind.  How would I catch up?   What’s important here is
    • Know my health – can I still function?  Will working make me much worse?
    • Know the way I stress – How will what I decide affect my stress level?
    • Know my mind – Can I let it go and truly rest?

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    • 3 Soft Skills Lessons from Watching “Trolls”

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    soft skills lessons from Trolls

    I didn’t think this movie, Trolls, was going to be any good.  Both of my kids love the music in it.   Finally, we watched it last weekend.  I was only half watching it for the first 20 minutes.  It seemed like just a silly, happy cartoon, with lots of bright colors and singing.   My kids were glued to the TV.

    When I was done with work, I thought I just watch it with them to unwind. Within 10 minutes, I was glued too.  Here is why:

    “You have eat a Troll to be happy” – What?  What a silly concept!  Why would the Bergens believe such a thing?  Then it dawned on me the metaphor and parallel to our lives.  We all grew up with a lot of concept about happiness, such as

  • We need to make a lot of money to be happy
  • We need to be married to be happy
  • We need to own a house to be happy
  • We need to be promoted to be happy

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