I have been interviewing therapists to see if I can find one that is a good fit. This post is not about recommending you to get a therapist. That’s totally up to you. It’s about sharing a useful tip one therapist shared with me that immediately improve my perspective and thus my life and work. Apply OCAS! What is OCAS? I will get to that in a few paragraph.
Why Am I Looking for A Therapist?
Well, I have considered the idea on and off for about 10 years but never took any action. I didn’t know how to find a good one, what I would look for, and most of all, any value in paying for it myself.
I only took this seriously recently as I had to find a therapist for my younger daughter Alexis last month and found out my work provides up to 10 therapy sessions via modern health.
Alexis hasn’t been in school for 2.5 years due to our Covid concerns. She was getting super anxious about going back in person and she also recently developed a strong fear of motion sickness. Her school is 20 min drive one way. All of this anxiety was starting to seriously affect her eating and her health. Her doctor recommended that we find her a therapist right away.
Long story short, after many phone calls and emails, we found a great one for Alexis. That therapist in turn recommended that we parents also get our own to better cope with this new situation and other stresses in our lives.
I Interviewed 3 Therapists
With all the research for Alexis, I learned a lot about Anxiety and finally decided to explore therapy for myself. Luckily all therapists offer 10-15 min free “meet and greet” so I can get a feel for fit. I had no idea how it would work but I knew I can figure it out during these free sessions.
Common questions I asked were
- How do I know if I need therapy or just coaching or just a friend?
- How is a therapist different from talking with a friend?
- What is your therapy approach?
- I have this situation xyz. What is your advice?
Besides these, I also gauged if I felt comfortable and if I respected what they had to say. I was hoping that I would “just know” if one is a good fit after the session. I was not so sure after talking to the first two.
- The first one was an obvious bad fit due to her nervousness and that she spoke English somewhat poorly. She wanted to speak Chinese with me instead.
- The second one almost felt like a fit but I still had a feeling that something was forced. I almost went for it as he was overall pleasant and easy to speak with. However since I had another meet and greet set up already, I thought I wait until I speak with this third one to decide.
I guess 3rd time is a charm. Our meet and greet started out unimpressively. “Bill” was super calm and casual. I was wondering whether he really had anything new to teach me. 20 minutes later however, I knew I wanted to choose him. Bill was personable, confident but down to earth, and knowledgable. I appreciated that he shared personal stories about himself and I can tell he loved his job. Bill was the one who told me about OACS.
What is OACS?
I was talking to Bill about several of my challenges in life and at work. I told Bill whenever I complained about work to hubby, he would say, “Why don’t you just quit? It’s not like you need this kind of money anymore.”
Bill said, many people jump to the thought of quitting, but usually there are many options. Bill suggested I try OACS.
- O is for Optimize – If work is not ideal right now, figure out the part I liked and disliked and see how to adjust the ratio. He shared while he loves his job, it doesn’t mean he loves every minute either.
- A is for Add -He shared sometimes what people do is to add an outside activity that brings more happiness than just work. By making time for these activities I enjoy, the struggles at work will seem less significant. I realized that I already do this by writing on this blog, coaching, and going to my dance classes. 🙂
- C is for Change – For example, if work is really unbearable even if I add joy outside of work, then make a significant change to it. Perhaps go to part time work.
- S is for Stop – This is more of the equivalent to quitting my job and finding a new one.
His whole point with OCAS is there are usually more than one way to improve my life and my work whatever I think the problem is. While I only brought up this example to assess what he may say to help me, this simple “OCAS” concept felt practical and helpful.
What’s Next?
Bill also told me about our distorted perspectives. I will share with you another time what that is. Overall, in just 25 minutes, he gave me two new and simple concepts to think about. I cannot wait to talk to him further so I can find more ways to improve myself. While this meet and greet was not intended to be a therapy session, I felt lighter. I am looking forward to my first session next week 🙂
Your comments: Can you use OCAS to help improve your life or work or both? I look forward to your comments.
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Lei