I have probably cried at least once a week since March 13, the first day of our voluntary “Shelter in Place.” It always happens unexpectedly. The first time was when my 8 year old showed me her first eLearning homework. She wrote about the “3 good things” from the weekend. It was simple and lovely. As soon as she left the room, I cried uncontrollably. I didn’t even know why. I think it was because
- I was relieved she is coping so well with our “new reality.”
- I was relieved both of my kids are healthy
- I realized I had been worried every day for their safety
Another time I cried was while watching Lady Gaga’s One World Together at Home. Again it happened suddenly. I was enjoying the show but just started crying during it. I think I cried because
- I was inspired by the human spirit – our will to thrive and connect in spite of uncertainty.
- I was saddened to think of all those families who have been afflicted with covid19
- I was grateful for the brave healthcare workers doing their best to keep up with the volume
Most recently, I cried when I read this article – Why am I so tired? It all made more sense why I have been crying. This uncertainty is a constant stress around our daily lives whether we are thinking about it or not. Even as I try to live a simple life focusing on work, the kids and being grateful of all the things we can still enjoy, the larger threat is around us, looming. I highly recommend everyone read the full article. This excerpt below especially helped.
“It is not unusual during periods of traumatic stress, for example, to be more irritable than usual, to feel more anxious or depressed, or to feel an aversion to physical touch or closeness that is a change from ordinary. And what about joy? Excitement? Relief? Gratitude? These feelings appear so much at odds with current events and, yet, it is not uncommon for those enduring traumatic stress to experience a range of seemingly conflicting feelings. Joy at additional time spent with family – albeit in quarantine – excitement about watching a child learn something new under our new role as teacher, relief about not having to commute an hour to work each day, and the gratitude that comes from reflecting on our priorities and recognizing that we actually need much less to live a fulfilled life than we ever imagined? All of these emotions are normal and common, even during times of crisis. Feeling more emotional and crying about everything, or crying about nothing at all? Normal. Feeling overwhelmed at balancing all of your roles, all at once, from home? Normal. Feeling like you can’t wait to get out of quarantine and meet your friends for happy hour and also feeling like you cannot talk to one more person today? Normal. Feeling like you want to cook, should be eating, and also don’t have a bit of an appetite? All completely normal.”
– Parasol Wellness – April 6, 2020
It’s nice to realize pretty much all emotions we may be feeling, either positive or negative during this “new reality” are all normal. Knowing this made me stronger and I hope it will help you as well. As we all find our different ways to cope with all the uncertainty, one thing is clear – we are strong. Being mentally tough doesn’t mean we don’t feel or we don’t cry. On the contrary, being mentally tough means we accept the unusual feelings that may surface and trust that they are both helpful and temporary.
This past Saturday, my older daughter turned 12 years old. I thought she may be bummed that she cannot physically see her friends. I was wrong. We hosted a Zoom party and all of them had a blast. It was amazing to watch the resilience of kids. They naturally figured out online games to play and Isabel was surprised with the most touching birthday dance video compilation made by all of her friends. It turned out to be one of the best birthdays she ever had.
It may take a year or two for us to get over this COVID 19 pandemic, but we are survivors and will survive this. If you are feeling off and need help, please reach out to your family or friends for help. There are many people who would be happy to help you in this time of crisis. Stay safe, stay home if you can, and stay resilient. We will get through this.
Your comments: How are you holding up through all of this? Any coping tips for others. I look forward to your comments
Your comments: Do you have an inner voice that tells you that you are not enough? Do you where it comes from and how to ignore it? I look forward to hearing from you.
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Lei
Lei