I Didn’t Fully Understand It Until I Became a Mother Myself
As Mother’s Day approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom and how much her love shaped me over the course of my life.
When I was younger, I don’t think I fully appreciated it. Like many children, I think I simply assumed my mom would always be there — supporting me, worrying about me, comforting me, encouraging me, and loving me quietly in the background of my life.
It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I began to understand how much emotional energy, sacrifice, patience, and unconditional love motherhood actually requires.
Now, as a mom of two teenage girls, I see motherhood completely differently.
I see how much of parenting happens invisibly. The constant worrying. The emotional support. The comforting. The teaching. The hoping your children feel safe enough to become fully themselves.
And honestly, I probably took some of that for granted when I was younger.
Recently, my mom texted me and said, “Please don’t send flowers since you already sent them for my birthday.” Her birthday was only three weeks ago. That text perfectly captures who she is — practical, thoughtful, and never wanting us to spend unnecessary money on her.
So I started thinking about what I could give her that would actually feel meaningful.
Sometimes the Most Meaningful Gift Is Simply Feeling Appreciated
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that what many mothers probably want most is not an expensive gift. It’s knowing their love mattered. It’s feeling appreciated, remembered, and seen.
So instead of continuing to think about what to buy her, I started reflecting on what she had truly given me throughout my life.
I realized one of the greatest gifts my mother gave me was not achievement or ambition — although there was certainly encouragement around hard work and responsibility in our home.
What she gave me was something deeper. She made me feel loved even when I was imperfect. That feeling shaped how I see myself. And now, it shapes how I try to love my own children. Maybe Mother’s Day is simply a reminder not to leave those feelings unspoken.
This year, I decided to write my mom a letter.
My Letter to My Mom
I sent her the translated version in Mandarin 🙂
Dearest Mom,
Happy Mother’s Day. I miss you very much and really look forward to seeing you and Dad this summer.
As I became a mother myself, I realized how much I learned from you about what it means to truly love my own children.
From you, I learned what it feels like to be loved without needing to prove
myself first. I never felt like I had to achieve more, perform perfectly, or become someone else in order to deserve your love. You always made me feel like I was enough just as I am. I still remember you often telling me, “Enough is enough. Just take care of yourself and be happy.”
Dad often encouraged me by pushing me to do better and reach higher, which I can appreciate much more now as an adult. But sometimes, especially when I was younger, I internalized that pressure as feeling like I still wasn’t enough. You were always the one who balanced that with comfort, warmth, and reassurance.
Even living four hours away by plane, I still feel your hugs and your protection. Thank you, Mom, for always being there for me regardless of my achievements or flaws.
As a parent now, I realize I have a little of both you and Dad in me. Like Dad, I also taught my girls about working hard, trying their best, being good people, and thinking carefully about value and practicality. Looking back now, I can appreciate those lessons more too.
But from you, I learned something equally important: to make sure my children always know they are loved no matter what.
I want my kids to know they can always come to me when life is hard, when they make mistakes, or when they feel lost. I want them to take risks in life, fail, learn, grow, and try again without ever worrying that my love for them will change.
I think that may be one of the greatest gifts you gave me.
Because of your love, I always felt safe and supported growing up and even now as an adult. I hope my children will feel that same sense of safety and acceptance from me too.
Thank you Mom ❤️ I love you very much.
Lei
Happy Mothers’ Day to you all!