I debated whether to share this story. It’s so trivial but it reminded me how our belief shapes our reality. We often find ourselves in situations where a little bit of self-assurance can make all the difference. This trivial experience revealed a profound truth. Here’s a simple story that illustrates the power of self-confidence and how it can impact our lives in unexpected ways.
The Stuck Door: A Lesson in Self-Belief
Not long ago, I found myself in a doctor’s office, waiting for my appointment. Needing to use the restroom, I walked up to the door, inserted the key, and turned it. Nothing happened. The door remained firmly shut. My first thought was that perhaps someone was inside, or maybe the restroom was out of service.
I turned the key again, with a little more effort this time, but still, the door wouldn’t budge. Feeling unsure, I turned to the person sitting nearby and asked if they knew whether the restroom was in use. The person responded, “I think it’s working.”
Armed with this new information, I turned the key once more, this time with more confidence. I applied a bit more force to the knob, and lo and behold, the door opened. It turned out that the door was simply a bit stuck. The difference between my earlier attempts and the final successful one? Confidence.
The Power of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
This simple experience reveals a significant insight: when we aren’t sure of ourselves, the things we want may not work out simply because we don’t fully commit to making them happen. This is the essence of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Our doubts and hesitations can create obstacles that might not have existed otherwise. In the case of the stuck door, my initial lack of confidence led me to assume that the door might be broken or occupied. As a result, I didn’t put in the necessary effort to open it.
The Role of Mentors and External Validation
When someone else assured me that the door was likely working, my confidence increased, and I
succeeded in opening it. This illustrates the importance of having mentors or supportive figures in our lives who believe in us. Their confidence in our abilities can help us overcome our doubts and push us to try harder, ultimately leading to different, often better outcomes.
I have been fortunate in having several mentors in my life. Their confidence in me at times were way beyond what I believed about myself. Their supportive words (such as of course you can speak at a conference) meant so much that I was able to live into them and really prove to myself that they are right.
However, relying solely on external validation isn’t enough. While it’s valuable to have people who believe in us, true self-confidence must come from within. We have to learn to trust our abilities, even when no one else is around to offer reassurance.
Choosing Confidence: A Deliberate Act
Self-confidence isn’t something that magically appears when we need it; it’s a choice we make. Often, we hesitate or worry because we aren’t sure of ourselves. But this hesitation is a choice. We are choosing to be unsure, to doubt, to hold back. What if we made the opposite choice? What if we decided to be confident, even when there’s no evidence to guarantee success?
We’ve all seen others exude confidence and achieve things that seemed out of reach. The truth is, we can do the same. We can choose to believe in ourselves, even in the face of uncertainty. This doesn’t mean that every attempt will be successful, but it does mean that we’re more likely to succeed because we’re putting our full effort into it.
Key Insight: Belief as the Key to Unlocking Opportunities
The level of belief we have in ourselves plays a huge role in whether we can get things done. The story of the stuck door is a trivial example, but it holds a valuable lesson. If we want doors to open for us in our careers, relationships, or any other area of life, we must believe that we deserve it and that we have the power to make it happen.
Hesitation and self-doubt can keep doors firmly shut, leading us to believe that we’re not deserving or ready. But often, it’s our very belief—or lack thereof—that is the only thing standing in our way. So, the next time you face a challenge, remember that your confidence can be the key to unlocking the door to success. Choose to believe in yourself, even when the door seems stuck.
Your comments: Are you aware of how your confidence level affects your work performance? Do you know how you can change it? I look forward to your questions and comments
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Lei