How Making a Career Limiting Move Led to Greater Opportunities

A lot happened last week, leaving me with a tough decision. I received an unexpected invite from my big boss (let’s call him Richard) for a one-on-one meeting at 8:30 AM on Tuesday. The invite simply stated that he wanted to discuss “upcoming opportunities.”

Unsure of what it meant, I reached out to my immediate manager (let’s call him Sam) to see if he had any insights. Sam speculated that it was likely about me helping out with some risk-related work we had discussed plus some Chief of Staff responsibilities.

Chief of Staff? That was news to me. I was apprehensive but decided to wait and see what Richard had in mind.

An Unexpected Job Offer

Our meeting started off casually. Richard asked how my work was going, and I took a few minutes to outline my progress and the value I was contributing. I wanted to ensure he saw the impact of my work, especially since last time we spoke I didn’t get a chance to share it fully.

an unexpected job offer Then he got to the main point. What I heard next was completely unexpected. He offered me a job to report directly to him and coordinate all the Risk and Control processes for the bank’s digital efforts. He outlined the following details:

I would be part of his leadership team and gain exposure to high-level discussions.
I would work closely with digital leaders on various audit or control testing, digital risk assessments, and risk remediation efforts.
I would manage a contractor and eventually hire two junior staff members (with a budget already approved).
It would be a lateral move—no promotion, just a shift in responsibility.
Additionally, I would assist him with various “random” tasks—this was the Chief of Staff aspect Sam had mentioned.

He acknowledged that it would be a challenging role with a steep learning curve. I was honest and told him I was surprised by this offer. I thought we were going to talk about helping him out with some risk related tasks for a short time frame. I thanked him for the opportunity and asked for a day to think it over. I needed time to process what this offer really meant for me.

Why the Job Offer Didn’t Feel like an Opportunity

While the conversation unfolded, I knew this offer was not a step forward for me. Here’s why:

It Didn’t Align with My Career Goals. I had zero interest in risk and control work. It was a glorified program manager role without real influence or decision-making power.
It Wasn’t an Inspiring Opportunity. Richard’s delivery was monotone and detached. It was clear he needed help solving a major problem and saw me as the available resource, not as someone uniquely suited for the job.
It Required Significant Overtime. He casually mentioned that he had been working until 11 PM most nights, implying that I would need to follow suit. Plus, his clock was set to East Coast hours—meaning long, early days for me.
It Wasn’t Really a Choice. He framed it as optional, but the reality was clear: if I declined, I would be making a huge career limiting move. I would likely be laid off so that my salary could fund the new hire he need for the role.

My Thought Process and a Wrinkle

I knew my answer immediately, but I took my time to confirm it. I asked myself:

Can I learn to be happy in this role? No. While I would gain new skills, they wouldn’t align with what I truly want to learn at this stage of my career which is innovating in customer experience.
Would this role lead to the career path I want? No. I couldn’t even justify this detour to a future employer—it simply didn’t fit where I saw myself going.
Was I financially prepared to walk away if necessary? Yes. I took the day to review our personal finances and confirmed that we would be financially secure even if I was let go and didn’t find a job for a year.
What did my trusted mentor think? I reached out to him immediately after my call. He made time that same day to be my sounding board, validating my concerns and even offering additional insights that reinforced my decision.
Is my husband supportive of my decision? Absolutely. A decision of this magnitude is something I’d never want to surprise him with, and as always, he was fully supportive.

Everything pointed to a firm no. However, I needed to be strategic about my response. My annual bonus—an important part of my compensation—was set to be paid in two weeks. While my mentor assured me it was “locked in,” I knew there was a slim chance Richard could still decide to let me go before then. Timing was key.

The Strategic Way I Said No

With my mentor’s help, I crafted this response that was polite, professional, and firm:

Subject: Thank You for the Opportunity

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to lead Risk & Control on your leadership team. I truly appreciate the offer and the confidence you have in me.

After careful thought, I need to pass. While I know I can learn a lot in this role, my professional passion lies elsewhere, and I want to ensure I can bring my full energy and commitment to any role I take on at this stage of my career. I understand that this decision closes a door, and I welcome your guidance as I explore internal opportunities to contribute to our bank.

Thank you for your understanding. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity and your support.

How It Felt to Turn Down the Job

Hitting send on that email was nerve-wracking. I waited until after 3 PM the next day, giving myself time to fully own my decision.

it's okay to have mixed feelings

I felt relieved—I had stood up for what I wanted and refused to be pushed into a role that didn’t serve me. Even though this decision was career-limiting in my current department, it was the necessary trigger I needed to move on to better opportunities elsewhere.

I felt apprehensive—I didn’t know how Richard would react or what the fallout would be.

I felt disappointed—I had worked hard on my current projects and gathered a group of like-minded individuals who were also motivated by our work. Now they might be abandoned because leadership didn’t see their value.

I felt excited—this decision meant I was free to explore new opportunities that aligned with my passions.

I felt a sense of loss—even though this was a positive move, change always comes with a degree of sadness.

Most of all, I felt empowered—financial security and experience gave me the courage to say no, but ultimately, it was my conviction in what I don’t want that made the decision clear.

The Lesson: Know When to Say No

If you ever find yourself in a position where you’re being nudged into a role that doesn’t feel right for you, here’s what I hope you take away from my experience:

You always have a choice—even when it feels like you don’t. The consequences of saying no might be tough, but they are often not as bad as we fear.
Financial security gives you freedom—invest wisely so that when the time comes, you can make decisions based on what’s right for you, not just what pays the bills.
Trust your instincts—if a job doesn’t excite you and doesn’t align with where you want to go, don’t take it just because it seems like the “safe” option.
Your happiness and professional growth matter—no one else will prioritize them for you, so you have to advocate for yourself.

What’s Next?

I don’t know yet, but I’m optimistic. I already have a few people to reach out to about roles that better match my skills and passions. I also have plans on exploring different ways to work if I cannot find a full time job immediately. Regardless of where I land, one thing is certain—I made the right decision for me.

So here’s to the next adventure. Wish me luck!

Lei