Something weird happened to me on LinkedIn over the weekend. I thought I share to help remind both you and I of what NOT to do on LinkedIn. This really happened just two days ago.
Here is the backstory
I get a lot of requests to connect on LinkedIn, some from folks I know but many from folks I don’t know at all. A month ago, I accepted an invite from someone I thought my husband mentioned I should meet. Let’s call him Paul.
My husband met on Zoom a cool Chinese businessman who is an investor in various industries. After the call, hubby mentioned to me that this Chinese businessman may connect with me as well. When Paul, who is a Chinese investor reached out, I accepted his LinkedIn invite.
My usual rule of thumb is only to accept LinkedIn invites from people I know or work with in one way or another. This rule makes it easy for me to decline all others who reach out that I don’t know. Even though I don’t know Paul, I made an exception and just accepted since Hubby recommended it.
What happened next
Nothing much happened next. Once I accepted Paul’s invite, I expected Paul to tell me that he would like to connect live and discuss xyz. I can then go from there to figure out if it makes sense to chat. That’s not what happened.
All Paul said in a few LinkedIn messages was very generic – “how are you? …. are you Chinese?… Congrats on your work anniversary…” I replied with “am good. Yes, why do you ask? … Thank you.”
I didn’t think much of it.
Then something odd happened
Yesterday, I got this message on LinkedIn messenger. 
I was speechless. It was completely odd to expect me to strike up a conversation with him when he hasn’t really said anything of substance.
I decided to respond as perhaps I am missing some context here or there is a language barrier. So I told Paul that I was not offended. Below is the rest of what I said.
I didn’t know what I expect next
I guess I should have expected by now that this wasn’t going anywhere good. Still I held out hope that it was a misunderstanding. I was wrong. This is the next part of our exchange. Apparently, I am “anti-social” and he confirmed he actually never met my husband.
Once I realized that I don’t actually know this person, I just wanted to cut my losses and learn my lesson.
It Doesn’t Stop There
I, of course, had to get another message from Paul.
I prompted removed his connection. I am half curious whether I will get any more messages. I think my next move is to report or block him, if so.
3 Tips on What NOT to Do on LinkedIn
This was of course a pretty extreme case. It was more odd than upsetting. Obviously, Paul lacks interpersonal communication skills and emotional intelligence. Since I encountered it, I thought it can help remind you and I of what NOT to do on LinkedIn.
Tip 1: do NOT accept any LinkedIn invites from those you don’t know. It can negatively affect your reputation or peace of mind. This example was a bit extreme but spam like this or hard sales messages will follow once you connect. What’s worse is, once they connect with you, your reputation is used by them to connect with your connections. This didn’t happen with Paul, but conference coordinators from “no name conferences” have done this to me a few times to help me learn this lesson.
Tip 2: If you really want to connect with someone, then put in the invite message why. This is especially true if you only met them briefly or not at all. If you admire someone and want to connect, then tell them what you admire about them and why you want to connect (eg., get advice, etc..) Not everyone follows tip 1 above and may accept your connection. I personally may also make an exception depending on the message and the follow up. Even for those you met, it’s important to connect that dot in the invite. Those you want to connect with may not remember your name to know you met already, so remind them.
Tip 3: Do not expect the person you connect with to do the work if you are the one who need something from them. And definitely don’t stalk them with scolding like Paul. This may be obvious. Many however get shy with follow up after the person accepted the connection. If you would like to get advice or want to learn something, then be sincere and specific and ask for it. Don’t expect everyone to say yes, but some will. Even if someone say they don’t have time right now, be gracious and see if you can follow up in a few months. I say no to folks not because I don’t want to help. I don’t always have time right now.
At the end of the day…
Try to put yourself in the shoes of the person you are trying to connect with. Most folks are busy with work, life, and coping with Covid circumstances. LinkedIn is created to help professionals stay connected. If you want to network using LinkedIn, remember the secrets to networking – follow this simple rule. Best wishes!
Your comments: Anything weird happen to you on LinkedIn? What other tips would you suggest? I look forward to your comments
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