How to guides

Great Way to Start 2018 – Summary of Insider Tips for Every Career Situation

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stack the deck

Whatever your career situation is today, I can help you “Stack the deck” in your favor.  Job search and work are never fair.   It will favor those who know how to play the game.  I am here to help you with insider tips on how to play the game to your advantage in any career situation.  If you are in any of the four situations below, I can point you to the insider tips I have gathered in the last 20 years, so you can work smart, get what you want in your career, and live more. ...  read more

Are You on the Right Career Path? Ask Yourself These 4 Questions

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right career path

I just found out a close friend has cancer.  I was shocked by the news.  Although her cancer is highly treatable, it was a complete surprise.  She will need to go through 6 months of chemo and hell to recover.  I share this with you to help you step back from the daily grind and see the big picture.  Life is short and finite.

  • Are you on the right career path?
  • Are you doing what you are suppose to be doing?
  • If you were told you have cancer today, would you make different choices in your career and life?

Our life is a gift.  Don’t wait until you have shocking news in your life to reexamine.  It’s never too early to reassess or take a different direction altogether.   Today, I want to help you answer these questions.

Many of us work long hours, forgo time with family, friends, and skip vacations, so we can get ahead in our career.    But do we know why we do it?  The superficial answer is to make more money, or get promoted, or be recognized.   But I would argue none of that really help us feel fulfilled.

Our career path must have a deeper meaning for it to be worth the effort and the time away from our families.   That meaning will also help ground us if we receive sad unexpected news like this from a friend or from a doctor about our own health.

Here are 4 questions to help you examine your current career path and trajectory?

Question 1: Does my job & career make a difference somehow?  I have shared the definition of success before.  It’s not about material status, and much more about our level of contribution to others.  Making a difference comes in all forms.   For example, it can be about

  • earning money so I can support my family and my kids’ education
  • making a positive impact to the customers my company serves (whether with a new product I launch or solving service issues painlessly)
  • coaching those on my team so they can learn from my experience and skills

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    What Makes Us Happy & Motivated at Work – Three Ways to Gauge

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    happy and motivated at work

    More than a year ago, I changed jobs and managers within the same company.  I went from having one of the worst leaders I have ever experienced in my career, to having one of the best.  On my first day with this new leader, she asked me a simple question – what make you happy at work?   What was different about her is I realized she really cared and wanted to know my answer.  I remember being a bit unprepared and told her what came to mind quickly

  • Supportive, trusting leader
  • Meaningful, impactful work
  • Great people to work with
  • Work life balance

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    5 Most Common Regrets in Life & How to Avoid Them

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    no-regrets

    Last month, I heard this great talk by Jyri Engestrom, a successful Internet entrepreneur on the topics of happiness.  He said, most people have five regrets in life – all of which resonated with me.  And you probably would agree these are the most common regrets as well.  If so, then I ask you – why not address them now before you are dying so you can live life with no regrets.

    Here are what these five regrets mean to me and what we can all do to live life without them today!

    I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me – It’s amazing how hard this actually is.  The more of an overachiever we are the harder this is.  This is because we instinctively like to compare our achievements and career progression with that of others (e.g, my former classmates, siblings, even friends) or what others we care about may expect of us (e.g, my dad).  While common, the act of comparison is destructive and the more we do it the more we move away from knowing how to live a life true to ourselves.
    What to do to live life with out this regret:  Stop comparing!  Whenever you catch yourself comparing, stop and move on to more important things in life.
    I wish I didn’t work so hard – I worked my butt off the first 12 years of my life and it affected my health.  So I already got this message from the universe that working too hard may not be worth it.  Luckily my healthy issues were temporary.  I think I grew up with the concept that if I am not working hard, then I am lazy and that’s bad.   It sounds a little ridiculous when I write it down.
    What to do to live life with out this regret:  Create a new concept that replaces the one above – Working hard will lead me to miss out on life, so don’t miss out. Work smart instead and make time for life as well before it’s too late
    I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings – Many times we repress our feelings only to hold on to the hurt, frustration, etc.. too long.  It’s not good for us.  I am glad to say this is one that I actually do often at work and in life.  I hope you do too.  It’s liberating.
    What to do to live life with out this regret:  Learn to express yourself and then let it go.  This does not mean blurt out whatever you think.   Express yourself in a constructive way takes practice and finesse.   The first step is to let yourself do it and overtime, you can improve on the finesse.  This also doesn’t mean expecting others to agree with you.  It’s about feeling complete. Once you had a chance to say your piece, accept that you at least tried whether the outcome is what you expect or not.
    I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends – As I get older and have a family, I am finding less and less time to stay in touch with friends.  It just seems like a year would go by and I would be busy everyday with work, family, blog, etc..   Well, I decided to change this and make keeping in touch with friends a priority as well.
    What to do to live life with out this regret:  Here is how I am doing it without too much effort.

  • I created recurring lunch meeting requests on my work calendar to stay in touch with friends and contacts.  They may be every 4-8 weeks and sometimes gets cancelled or pushed but at least it’s set to reoccur, block out my time on the work calendar, and ensure that I take a decent lunch break once in awhile.
  • I call friends when I am walking to or from work.  It takes me about 10-15 min each way.  I am sure you can think of other ways if you put your mind to it. 🙂

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    How to Ask Someone to be Your Mentor – Dos and Donts

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    How to ask someone to be your mentor

    I am republishing this article with new content as my learning on how to ask someone to be your mentor has evolved. 🙂  Hope you will find it useful.

    We all need formal and informal mentors to help us grow and learn.   Young professionals have more of a need for formal mentors.   Seasoned professionals needs more a broader network, but not necessarily formal mentors.  It’s more helpful to have “Board of Advisors,” a group of people you know and can go to for specific advice.

    For younger professionals, asking someone to be your mentor can be daunting. Half of the battle is actually making sure you don’t chicken out and decide not to do it because of xyz. Even though it can be scary to ask someone to take on this role, remember that people are usually flattered if they are asked to help you guide your career.   There are many ways for young professionals to ask someone to be your mentor.  Here are some dos and don’ts that may help:

    Do…

  • Communicate what you respect about him/her – It shows that you know why you would like them to be your mentor. Genuine praise also goes a long way. Try to find “deep” reasons that demonstrate that you’ve really thought about this, instead of shallow ones. A deep reason could be something like this: “I really respect how you handle work life balance while holding such a senior position.” A shallow reason sounds like this: “I want you to be my mentor because you are successful.”
  • Communicate your situation and how their mentorship can help – People become mentors because they are inspired by the passion and potential of those they mentor.  Share where you are headed with your life and career, and why their experience/advice can help.
  • Actually ask the question – “Would you consider being my mentor?” – Some people shy away from the question and can leave the other person confused.  If the person is a stranger, perhaps start with coffee instead of asking the question outright.  People only become mentors when there is personal rapport and mutual respect.   First ask to see if you can meet or call them once, and then see if you can build rapport with them.  You also don’t want someone to be your mentor just because they have cool experience.  You want to inspire them to care about where you are headed.
  • Communicate what type of mentor relationship you are looking for – This includes both the type of advice/feedback you are hoping to receive, and how often you hope to interact (once a quarter, every month, ad-hoc, etc…). Many people are happy to be mentors, but are also very busy people. Clearly articulating what kind of relationship you want to build with them will help them decide if they want to take this on.
  • Listen and adapt to their response – Very likely this person will be happy to be your mentor, but may counter about the frequency of communication. Just go with it.   If they say no, don’t be offended, People are very busy.  You can then see if they would just be open to you reaching out for advice again.  Sometimes people feel pressured to agree to a “formal mentor” role.  This doesn’t mean they do not ever want to meet with you again.  They just cannot commit.  Respect their decision.  As long as they agree to meet again, they are actually still informal “mentors” to you.  Be thankful.
  • Follow up – It’s up to you to make it easy for others to help you. If this person agrees to be your mentor, he or she would still expect you to take the lead, figure out how best to communicate, and proactively build the relationship over time.  If this person didn’t agree to be your “formal” mentor, but agreed to you contacting them in the future for specific advice, then it’s up to you to be proactive and arrange that next coffee or call and be specific. Share what advice you need and why you think they can help you.

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    Career Success – When Is the Best Time to Network

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    best time to network

    Many of us only remember to start networking when we hate our current job or when we are between jobs.  Unfortunately that is the worst time to start networking.  You can come across

  • Negative –  If you are hating your job.  It’s inevitably you will complain about it while networking. No one likes to be around complainers
  • Desperate – if you are looking for a job, you may very well be in a “rush to network.”  That will come across needy.  You will be too focused on finding a job and getting someone to do something for you vs. just getting to know people and letting them get to know you.
  • Pushy – You are likely more on a timeline..  You may start “stalking” people (eg., follow up too often) so you can “network” to get what you need (a connect, a job opportunity, etc..)

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