Soft skills

Interpersonal Communication Skills – 5 Tips

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I went to the dentist (Dr Sood) today and it was a great experience.  You may ask “what does this has to do with interpersonal communication skills or my career?”  Well, you will see after I tell this story.  As you may remember, I wrote about interpersonal skills examples last July after my last visit to the same dental office.  That time, my experience was terrible.  A different dentist (Dr. Vo) saw me at the same office.  Dr Vo probably graduated from the top of her class and everything she told me was probably true.  However, it was the way she  interacted with me that made it such a bad experience.  As such, Dr. Vo lost my business forever. ...  read more

Giving Notice at Work – 5 Tips

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At first glance, you may say “what’s the big deal?  Isn’t giving notice at work as simple as telling your boss you quit?” Well, while it does accomplish the task, I recommend a lot more finesse when you give notice at work.  It is in your interest to quit your job gracefully and not burn any bridges.  You just never know who you will work for in the future and whether that person used to be your boss at a different company or knows any of your previous bosses or ex-colleagues.  It’s a small world and in the interest of your own career success, it’s always smarter to leave a job on good terms. ...  read more

How to Sell Your Skills Into a New Industry or Role

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In any job search, it is your job to sell your skills and convince prospective employers that you are the best fit for a job opening.   Being able to sell you skills in any job search situation is important.  It is even more critical to master this skills if you are trying to do a career change – move into a new industry or functional role. ...  read more

How to Say No at Work

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It may be hard to think about saying no at work, but sometimes it’s necessary to do so to protect your reputation as well as manage your stress level.  This 20 minutes podcast is a live coaching discussion with me regarding why, when, and how to say no at work.   There are definitely legitimate reasons and appropriate times to say no.  As you will learn, it is beneficial to you and the company to practice how to say no at work. ...  read more

How to Find Your Passion – Answer 3 Questions

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How to find your passion is a great question to ask throughout your career.  If you are anything like me and about 90% of the work force, then finding your passion is not an easy journey.

When I was a senior in college, I asked myself this question and couldn’t come up with an answer.  So I applied to 5 different type of jobs and chose the one that gave me the most skills to do whatever I want afterwards – a McKinsey Analyst.  I have since asked myself this question every 2 years and only now, 15 years later, do I have a clearer picture of one of my passion – helping people with work smart and live more through this website. ...  read more

Ignore Your “If Only” Thoughts

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Have you ever noticed that we all have “if only” thoughts that keep us from pursuing our dreams? For example:

  • If only I had more time …
  • If only I had more money …
  • If only I had technical skills ….
  • If only I got my MBA …
I started noticing this thought pattern in my head when I joined NextSpace, a co-working rental work space, six months ago.  I decided to rent space outside of my house, since working from home sucked.  Since joining, I started meeting all kinds of entrepreneurs.  I met one entrepreneur, Nick, who is developing iPhone games for kids.  I thought – “How cool is that! He must be an engineer, or knows how to code.  If only I could code myself, I could start a tech company, too.” You may be nodding at this point, thinking the same thing.  As it turns out, Nick’s background is actually similar to mine: MBA, consulting experience, then corporate experience in Marketing. After we got to talking, I found out that he outsources the coding aspect to a team in the Philippines, and does the design and marketing research himself. Immediately, I thought: “If only I knew how to find good coding resources offshore, I could do the same thing.” There’s a pattern here — for some reason, instead of thinking of what I want to do, I come up with “if only’s” about why I can’t do x y and z. “If only’s” can be endless, since there is always something we don’t know how to do. I started to realize that I hide behind “if only” statements, and if I keep doing that, all I am doing is playing the victim of circumstance in my career and in life. So I ask you – do you ever find yourself saying “if only xyz, I would be able to do abc?”  If so, perhaps you can join me in changing the situation, and become the driver instead of the victim.  Say this instead: “I want to do abc.  Now let me figure how I can get there. Maybe there are some skills I can learn myself, and others I can learn how to outsource.”  This new statement assumes an underlying confidence that if I truly want to do something, I can figure out how to get it done.    Do you believe this to be true? This new perspective can be powerful for a job search, on the job success, or any challenging life situations.
  • Job Search Example – You may find yourself in a defeated thought pattern: “If only I had a better education…If only I knew how to write a better resume…” These are all negative thoughts about things you don’t have. It gives us an excuse not to get a job, because we focus so much on our deficiencies. How can companies see the best side of you if you keep focusing on what you aren’t good at? If you’re thinking this way, it’s time to change your perspective: “I am good at x y and z. How can I get the best job possible with the skills I have already? What job search skills can I learn now to get better opportunities in the market?”
  • On the Job Success Example – You didn’t get the promotion that you were hoping for. You can either choose to blame yourself or others for this: “If only I spoke up more at meetings, like Steve…If only I knew how to play office politics…” Again, negative thought patterns! Focus on what it may take to get promoted next year — learn skills to build your reputation; learn skills to communicate better; learn how to play politics fairly. All of this is possible if you are in action mode.
I guess my point is our inner thoughts can be powerful in motivating or de-motivating us.  “If only” is a phrase that often demotivates.    It is important to cherish our strength, have confidence in our ability to learn and persevere, and have a positive mindset if we want to accomplish anything.   I think these two quotes I found on Twitter best summarize what I want to say in this post:
  • “Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” Jamie Paolinetti
  • “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you will start having positive results.” Willie Nelson
I hope this post inspires you to have positive thoughts that lead to positive results in your career and life.

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How to Say No At Work – 5 Tips

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Last week, we talked about Saying No at Work – When and Why to Do it.  This week, I want to discuss how to say no at work.  Being able to say no at work tactfully is an art form. You cannot just be blunt — how you say something is as important as what you want to say if you want to achieve the desired results.  In this case, the desired result is for the requester to accept your no and feel okay with it.  Here are 5 tips on how to say no at work gracefully: ...  read more