This is what I told my six-grade daughter while I was driving her to school last week. She has been fretting about her science experiment presentation for about a month now. Last Tuesday was the day for her to present. She got up early and was preparing. She enjoyed doing her experiment and actually seemed to know her stuff. Nonetheless, she was still super nervous. She knows I have a lot of presentation experience, so I took the opportunity in the car ride to school to see if I can ease her nerves.
Our Car Conversation
I started out general to better understand her state of mind. I asked, “How are you feeling?”
“Nervous” she said.
“That’s normal,” I said. “Everyone, even experienced presenters, still get nervous before a big presentation. What are you nervous about?” I probed a bit more.
“I am afraid I will cry when they call my name.” She confessed.
“Why do you think you will cry?,” I asked further calmly. “Did you cry when you had to read that bible verse in church in front of the whole school? You did so amazing in that.”
“No, but I almost did. My stomach was so tight. I did cry in class though last time I was asked to present.” She continues. “I am just so afraid to be asked a hard question or just blank out. ”
“That’s totally understandable.” I assured her. “It can still happen to adults to have these fears. You know sixth grade is meant to push you to try new things but also a safe space to not everything. What if you cried? What can be the worst that can happen?”
“I don’t know.” She said quietly
“Well, if you feel like crying, just cry. It’s okay. Mommy is proud of you for the effort you have put into this experiment. We had fun doing it and you have worked hard prepping your slides and your index cards. You know your stuff. Just know you don’t have to be perfect.”
“Okay mommy.” She nodded to me as I looked at her in my rear view mirror as we are at the school.
Later After School
“How did it go? Did you present?” I asked her cautiously. She had a relaxed smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye and said “Yes I did. I didn’t have to, but I decided to volunteer and do it today. I wanted to get it over with.” She went on to tell me the details of who was called on and who wasn’t ready for their presentation and how she then had an opportunity to raise her hand and volunteer to present.
I smiled at her answer. “That’s great” I said. “So how did it go? Did you cry?” I asked casually.
“Actually no,” She said with a smirk. “I actually tried to cry and I couldn’t. When she called my name to present, I remember you told me it’s okay to cry. Somehow I actually couldn’t cry.” She smiled.
I smiled again at her answer. “Interesting… I am proud of you for volunteering. Tell me all about it. Were you nervous? Was there any hard questions?”
She went on to tell me all the details, include how she felt prepared. She didn’t just read her slides like many of her classmates. She used her cue cards but also looked up at the class. She was proud. My heart was so warm hearing her. I took the opportunity to ask her to remember this experience. She put in the effort, prepared, and thus she did just fine. 🙂
What’s My Point?
While I obviously won’t say to you it’s okay to “cry” at your next presentation, the metaphor applies. It’s okay to “stumble a bit” at your next presentation. If you give yourself that permission and look at every presentation as a learning opportunity, you may just end up being more relaxed and do better as a result. You will also say yes more often to the opportunity to present.
The key to a great presentation is preparation and iteration, which you can control.
- Do you know your stuff? what you are trying to convey? What is your ideal outcome?
- Do you know your audience? What do they expect from you? Can you put yourself in their shoes and figure out what would engage them?
- Do you ask your audience for feedback afterwards? You don’t always know how well something went. Why not ask?
Just know that you will present many more times in your career. Each time is an opportunity to practice and learn as well as a chance to achieve your target outcome. Just keep trying and be kind to yourself.
Your comments: Do you give yourself room to stumble when you present? If a presentation didn’t go as well as planned, what action do you take to learn from it? I look forward to your comments.
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Lei