I don’t know about you, but I no longer like coming up with S.M.A.R.T goals for my new year resolutions. This is mainly because goals like “I want to lose 6 pounds in six months” or “I want to launch a product manager bootcamp by x date.” are both rigid and demotivating as the year goes on. It also doesn’t get at the heart of WHY I want these goals.
There is another way to come up with New Year goals that both inspire me and enable me to be creative about how I meet them throughout the year. Instead of asking myself “What I want to achieve this year?, ask myself “Who do you want to be this year?” The answer to the latter questions is more motivating for 3 reasons
- My answer gets more at the heart of WHY I want something.
- My answer will focus on WHAT I want in 2024 without being rigid about how I get there.
- I can then be creative every day, week, and month in HOW I want to achieve the WHAT that I want
The D.R.E.A.M Goal Framework
I actually had no idea what my new year resolutions were just a week ago. However, I attended this eye-opening seminar hosted by Chief about how to DREAM our goals instead of sticking to the traditional S.M.A.R.T goals. The DREAM framework I learned will hopefully also help you.
- Desire – Desire is the root of all creation, and your desires are seeds planted in your destiny. “Within every desire is the mechanics of its fulfillment.” – Deepak Chopra. From this, I asked myself – what do I truly want for myself? Write down the answer regardless of whether I know how to achieve it or whether others would approve of it.
- Radiance – What lights you up and brings a smile to your face? Choose goals that bring joy into your life. From this, I learned to focus on figuring out what really makes me happy? Things like dancing, coaching, playing with my kids, spending time with friends and family
- Essence – Ask yourself “why” 5 times to get to the goal underneath the goal. Ex: If you want to make a specific amount of money, the essence could be financial freedom. From this, I realized being a coach or a book writer are not really my ultimate goal. What I really want is to share my learning and experience with others so that they can navigate life easier. That is really what makes me happy.
- Agile – Instead of keeping the exact goal in front of us, it’s important to be open to adapting to new information, going after our desires in a flexible and adaptable way. For each of the goals I have below, there are actually so many more opportunities to achieve them and I can be creative about it every week, every month throughout the year.
- Meaningful – What is deeply meaningful to you in your life, to the world as a whole, to the planet, and to your contribution in this lifetime? Once I wrote down my goals, I realized these are not just relevant for me this year, but for perhaps this whole decade.
My 2024 New Year Resolution – 2 Core Goals
Once I used the DREAM Framework above to shift my thinking, the answer of who I want to be poured out of me. At the core, I want these things
- Health: “Sexy Vibrant Lei” – Being energetic, passionate, and full of life is so important to me. This is what dance and exercise do for me. But also taking time to meditate also help me stay vibrant. Last but not the least the time I spend with hubby really makes me feel alive and loved. If I have this, I can do anything. As I get older, self care is the most important as I want not only health, but energy for new adventures and learnings for many years to come.
- Time: “Vocational Freedom” – This is about working the way I want, when I want, where I want, and how I want also for the next 30 years. I have no idea what this means exactly for me. However I will use the time this year to explore and figure it out. I don’t believe in retirement. Most people who retire in the traditional sense get bored easily or worse get depressed. I want to “work” until the day I die but on my own terms 🙂
I drew this today to remind myself of who I want to be.
My New Year Goals – Related to Others
In addition to aiming for health and more time for myself, I also want these 4 things in my relationships
to others who are important to me.
- Be a “Teacher” – I used to feel bad about not building a full time coaching business. I thought that should be what I want since I love coaching and I have an MBA. I realized now why I never put enough energy into the business part. What I love is really helping others thrive, learn, and grow. I actually don’t really need to make it into a business to do that. Also this goal can be so many things. It can be about coaching my team at work, teaching my kids about adulthood, or even teaching my parents something about their phones. It can also be about coaching the mental fitness bootcamp, be a guest lecturer at Product school or at a college or graduate school. Now I know the essence of what I want, there is so many more possibilities to manifest this in my life :-). I feel so much joy with this freedom.
- Be a “Present” Mother – There can be so many distractions in my head when I am with my kids. This is about spending quality time with each of my kids and not just the amount of time. It’s about listening and getting to know them as they change and grow over their tween and teen and young adult years.
- Be a “Supportive” Daughter – I am an only child so “taking care” of my parents is my duty and my joy. They have done so much for me, so I want to be there for them in the coming years as they slow down a bit. They are still fairly independent, so this is also about respecting their wishes even if I disagree with their choices. This is also about spending time with them on vacation and also teaching them how to enjoy life more. I am excited to come up with more ways to support them as they age.
- Invest in Friendships – I am taking an online course by Chip Conley called How to Love Your Midlife. One of the things he highlighted was this quote by Robert J Waldinger, Psychiatrist. “The people who are happiest in their 80s are people who had invested in their social relationships in their 50s.” This was a bit of a blind spot for me. I am so busy with work, kids, parents, and my own life that it is sometimes hard to find enough time for friends. This is about being deliberate in deepening my friendships. Call my friends regularly. Plan lunches and weekend vacations together. Visit them in their home city.
My Advice to You
If you already set some new year resolutions, relook at them and find the essence of WHY you want to achieve those goals. Ask yourself the 5 whys and then you will get to the WHAT you want for yourself. Then write those down. I plan to look at the goals I have set for myself every week and think of what I want to do that week to manifest them. You can do the same to keep it fun and creative.
If you haven’t set any new year resolutions yet, then use the DREAM framework and set some. This can be fun even if you don’t know what they are when you first begin. You get to be whoever you want to be. So who do you want to be? Set aside an hour to do this. Grab your favorite beverage, set your phone to do not disturb, and get some paper to write down your thoughts.
Start with the DREAM framework and write down what comes to mind for your Desire, Radiance, Essence, Agile, and Meaning. Then Ask yourself these two questions
- What is the most important aspect I want to focus on this year?
- What will help me live my most fulfilling life?
Focus on what will feel amazing to check off this list, whether that’s specific or esoteric. You do you!
Also share your goals with others. The best way to manifest what you want is to describe them to others. Just by telling another what you want, you are already a step closer in becoming who you really want to be. Have fun with this and have a fabulous 2024!
Your comments: I would love to hear what you come up with for yourself using the DREAM framework. I look forward to your comments and questions.
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Lei
