Every January, millions of people commit to New Year resolutions. “I want to lose 10 pounds,” “I’ll join a pickleball league,” or “I’ll be kinder to myself.” These resolutions often feel like they have a binary outcome: success or failure. For years, I avoided setting these types of goals because they felt rigid and defeating. Instead, I began focusing on who I wanted to become in the new year, rather than what I wanted to achieve. It was a subtle but transformative shift.
This mindset shift is further reinforced when I started reading James Clear’s Atomic Habits. It illuminated why my approach resonated deeply with me and how it aligned with Clear’s powerful framework for lasting change. If you, too, have struggled with sticking to resolutions, perhaps this perspective can inspire a new way forward.
3-Step Blueprint for Goal-Setting Success
James Clear breaks down goal-setting into three levels:
- Outcome-Based Goals: What you want to achieve.
- Process-Based Goals: How you’ll achieve it.
- Identity-Based Goals: Who you need to become to achieve it.
Most resolutions are outcome-based: “I want to lose 10 pounds.” This level, while common, is also the least effective because it focuses on the result without addressing the deeper changes required to get there. As Clear puts it, “Anyone can declare an outcome they want, but achieving it requires more than wishful thinking.”
The next level, process-based goals, takes a step further. This involves action: “I’ll work out three times a week and meal prep every Sunday.” This is where most motivated individuals spend their time. However, even with consistent effort, these actions often wane by February. Why? Because the foundation—identity—isn’t addressed.
The third level, identity-based goals, is the game-changer. Identity is about shifting how you see yourself. Clear explains this with a powerful example:
- Outcome-Based: “I will quit smoking.”
- Process-Based: “I will use nicotine patches and avoid smokers.”
- Identity-Based: “I am not a smoker.”
The difference between saying, “I’m trying to quit smoking” and “I am not a smoker” is profound. The former suggests effort; the latter declares identity. When your habits align with your identity, change becomes automatic. You’re not just acting differently; you are different.
How I Set My Goals to Align with My Identity
For the past decade, my New Year resolutions have focused on who I want to become. For example, rather than saying, “I want flat abs,” I embraced the identity of “Sexy, Vibrant Lei.” If that’s who I am, then what do I need to do to sustain it? The answer included actions like going to the gym regularly, dancing my heart out, pampering myself, and staying healthy. These habits naturally followed because they aligned with the person I am already and plan to sustain as I get older.
Another resolution was to be “a present mother” instead of simply vowing to “spend more time with my kids.” It wasn’t just about the hours spent together, but the quality of every interaction. I began approaching each moment—whether helping with homework, listening to their stories, or sharing a laugh—with intention and full presence. This shift transformed our connection and made me feel deeply aligned with the kind of mother I wanted to be.
By anchoring my actions in these identities, I don’t just achieve specific goals—I am becoming the person I aspired to be.
Simple Habits That Build Your Dream Identity
You can do the same. According to James Clear, habits are the building blocks of identity. Every small action casts a vote for the person you want to become. If you consistently cast votes for the identity you desire, the results will take care of themselves.
Here’s how to create habits that align with your identity:
- Start Small: Begin with actions so small they feel impossible to fail. Want to become someone who exercises regularly? Start with a 2-minute workout. Want to become a reader? Commit to one page a day.
- Focus on Consistency Over Intensity: The goal isn’t to do it perfectly but to do it consistently. The act of showing up reinforces your identity, even if it’s imperfect.
- Celebrate Wins: Every small success reinforces your belief in your new identity. After completing a habit, acknowledge it. “I worked out today; I’m the type of person who prioritizes health.”
- Reframe Challenges: Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, see them as opportunities to affirm your identity. Missed a workout? Remind yourself, “I’m someone who doesn’t give up.”
Redefine Your 2025 Resolutions
As you consider your 2025 resolutions, ask yourself:
- Who do I want to become this year?
- What habits would someone with that identity have?
- How can I make those habits so simple they’re impossible to ignore?
Let this year be different. Don’t focus solely on what you want to achieve; focus on who you need to become. By shifting your resolutions to be identity-based, you’ll not only reach your goals—you’ll create lasting change that carries you into the years ahead.
So, here’s to you—the healthier, more confident, more connected version of yourself for the rest of 2025. Start small. Stay consistent. And most importantly, believe in the power of becoming.
Your comments: I look forward to hearing how you are doing with your new year resolutions. Please leave your comments below
Like this article? then help me share it on social media
New to this site? start here – Soft Skills – How to Succeed like an Executive
I am always in your corner. Best wishes to a fantastic year
Lei