I debated whether to tell you this, as I don’t want to be imperfect in your eyes. I realized however it’s my imperfection that you can relate to. And being imperfect is what make us human and what make me, Me :-)! It’s my trials and tribulations that can help you avoid the mistakes that I have made. It’s the stories about how I learned to overcome challenges that may also inspire you. It’s my imperfections that can help you also accepts yours.
I am grateful & I am embracing my imperfect me
I started this blog 12 years ago as a way to de-stress and to work out the best way to navigate corporate America. I am grateful for so many of you around the world to read my articles and to be helped by me in some small way. I don’t plan to stop sharing the real me.
There seems to be so much pressure in society to appear perfect, starting with social media. On Linkedin, we need to make sure we manage our professional brand and show that we have all our sh*t together. On Facebook or Instagram, we need to make sure our life appears amazing. It’s exhausting and to what end? When are we allowed to be imperfect and just be? It’s up to us to stop this charade and just be our imperfect selves.
- We all have our messes in our professional and personal lives.
- We all have self-doubts and fear in our heads
- Let’s stop stressing about being enough, knowing enough, and doing enough
When do we get to stop trying to be perfect and just live life?
Even with all my pedigree education and two successful careers, I still have self-doubts with anything new I try.
- I still have doubtful thoughts about my abilities as I take on a new job. Even though every new job I have ever taken on, I have succeeded, the doubt is there.
- I still have doubtful thoughts about my ability to coach. Even though I have coached hundreds of people, I want to do more in different ways and reach more people.
- I have such high standards for success. It was actually more paralyzing than helpful. It was stopping me from taking more risks.
I am grateful that I found this Mental Fitness course six months ago, that shined a bright light on all of my negative inner voices and gave me the tools to look at myself, at my life, and others differently. You can read more about my journey with the course here.
Where do these negative inner voices stem from?
I realized there is a constant lie that I told myself in my head. The lie is “I am NOT enough.” I know this belief started when I was a kid. Every time I came home with a less than perfect score, my dad told me how to improve. While he was trying to help, I interpreted it as “I am not enough yet.” It propelled me to do more and try more.
Somewhere along the way however, I started over-doing it. Even when I have succeeded 10 times over, I still seems to think like a 14 year old with a voice in my head that I am not enough yet.
I am enough!
Enough of this bs of repeated lies to myself. I used to think telling myself I am not enough will motivates me to do more. What I realized now is this string of thoughts is also what hinders me from taking bigger risks in life. Well, that must end. I need to break out of the safe box I put myself in.
- Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
- Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded to create the Model T.
- Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4-years-old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was “sub-normal,” and one of his teachers described him as “mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams.” He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to do a little math. 🙂
They probably all had doubts in their heads as well, but they chose not to listen to them. I choose to do the same. I am enough! All I need in life is within me now! Believing this instead of my doubts is freeing.
You are enough!
Don’t believe what others tell you, if they are not supportive of you. Don’t believe your own inner voice if they are creating negative emotions. Those words do not protect you. They only hinder you.
Dare to try and fail, and learn, and try again. At least you would give yourself a chance. Those who don’t try is 100% certain to fail. Those who try, will always have a better chance to learn and evolve.
Once we believe we are enough, we are unstoppable. Once we stop wishing to be different from who we are, we can focus 100% of our energy on exploring life and on contributing to life. When doubt comes, just recognize the history of that inner voice. Everyone has doubts, even Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and Albert Einstein. However, they chose not to listen to the doubts and kept going. You can ignore your doubts as well. I empower you to ignore your doubts and just keep going.
A song to inspire you
I signed up for Shine Fitness, a virtual dance platform, in March 2020 when the pandemic sent us all home to work. It’s one of my favorite workout platform. Kendall, the founder and lead instructor, is always inspiring and chooses amazing songs to get us through the pandemic.
This song was the last song of one of my favorite classes by Kendall. I cried happy tear when I heard it. I encourage you to listen to it as well. Remember you have the power to choose what you believe about yourself – believe you are enough!
Your comments: Do you have an inner voice that tells you that you are not enough? Do you where it comes from and how to ignore it? I look forward to hearing from you.
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I am always in your corner.
Lei
Lyrics to “I am enough”
All of the lies that I believed got the better of me
Never thought there could be so much doubt
All the blame and the hate, the self-hurt and the heartbreak
A fist that kept holding me downAnd I was my own worst enemy
And I found my way through it all and finally I seeI am enough just as I am
Feel right at home anywhere that I stand
Hold out my heart in the palm of my hand
And I live my life like nobody else can
I am, I am, I am enoughI am enough for the laughter the life that I’m after
Enough for my wildest dreams
Yeah, cuz every flaw from my toe to my jaw
Is exactly where it’s supposed to beAnd I know I got something to say
And I’m gonna remind myself every dayI am enough just as I am
Feel right at home anywhere that I stand
Hold out my heart in the palm of my hand
And I live my life like nobody else can
I am, I am, I am enoughOh, I used to look in the mirror and see all the fear
I could see all that fear in my eyes
Then I saw it get clearer like, like the blue in the sky
After that storm rolls through, the Sun will shine down on youI am enough just as I am
Feel right at home anywhere that I stand
Hold out my heart in the palm of my hand
And I live my life like nobody else can
I am, I am, I am enoughI’ll sing it again I am, I am, I am enough
“I am enough” lyrics by Daphne Willis