Looking back, I have taken 5 leaves from work already in my 20+ year career. Some happened unexpectedly and others intentional. Each time it was a difficult decision or unexpected turn of events. I want to share my story in case it can help you think about whether you should take a leave from work.
I never set out to take this many leaves. Each time, there were all kinds of emotions involved – frustration, guilt, disappointment, excitement, joy, etc… You will have them too. No matter how I ended up with each leave, I don’t regret any of it. I really learned a lot from each about myself and what makes me happy in work and life.
My First Leave – Made Quitting Easier
I took my first leave as a Manager after being in consulting for 10 years. I looked around at Deloitte and didn’t see any Partners whose life I wanted. I was on the partner trek yet I was unhappy in life. I also got injured at work – a story for another time. However, that injury woke me up to the fact that I was sacrificing too much of my health and my life for a career that only promised more insane hours and unhappy life.
I had a hard time deciding to leave outright, so I requested an unpaid personal leave of six months to see if I really wanted to leave. I knew after six weeks that I wouldn’t go back. While I gained a ton of skills and experience in consulting, I realized I didn’t want to stay in it anymore. This leave helped me walk away from a toxic career. I didn’t even know what I would do next, but it was time to explore something else.
Next Two Leaves – Lucky Coincidences
My next two leaves were 6 months and 1 year respectively. I didn’t plan them. After consulting, I started contracting at Wells Fargo. I sort of fell into it (story for another day). At Wells Fargo as a contractor, the maximum time I can work there is 18 months. After that, there is a mandatory 6 months break period before I can go back.
Coincidentally, by this time, I was happily married and was fortunate to be pregnant already during this first break and got pregnant with my second one during the second one. Being forced to take at least 6 months off each time was a blessing in disguise. I was able to spend quality time learning to be a good mom to two creativity, energetic girls :-). Motherhood is probably the hardest job I have but also the most rewarding.
My 4th leave – An Unexpected Offer
My 4th leave was also unexpected. After I joined full time at Wells Fargo, I thought I got my dream job. That dream job turned into a nightmare slowly over two years as I discovered I had an awful boss. I was miserable for six months straight before I decided to just quit without another job. I had it.
When I went to quit, my boss asked if I would consider a leave instead. I was very surprised. I knew she didn’t do it for me. She did it to save her own reputation. Still, since I get to keep my medical benefits and also just walk away temporarily, I agreed and took 2 months off. It was much needed just to rest and recover from her abuse. I also learned to better recognize the signs of a bad boss so I can figure out how to navigate away sooner.
After 2 months, I reluctantly went back since she promised to give me another boss. He was bearable but was not great either. At least the time back at work gave me an opportunity to find another job a year later. I regained my peace of mind and was able to better move on with my career. It was a lateral move, but with a much nice manager.
My 5th Leave – a New Perspective on Life
I am on my 5th leave right now for 3 months. I was burnt out at work and
didn’t even know it. Our merger with another company has been highly political. My dad also fell sick since last Nov. I wanted to make sure I can spend time and also figure out how to adjust to this next stage of life. Lastly, I also needed time with my kids who are going through some stuff.
It took me about 10 weeks to decide to take this leave. I felt so much guilt just leaving in the middle of unfinished work and leaving a new team I just hired. Even with my other leave experience, this decision was not easy. I am grateful to my hubby and my mentors to help me realize I would regret it if I didn’t do it. Work can always wait.
I am 2 months into my leave and the stuff I worried about at work seems more trivial. I was emotionally burnt out trying to balance work and family and I didn’t even realize it.
At the end of the day, no one ever regret in their deathbed that they didn’t work enough. They only regret not spending enough time for themselves or with family or close friends. No matter what happens when I return to work, I am grateful to be able to take this leave and prioritize myself, my family, and my life.
Why Every Professional Should Take a Leave from Work?
As you can see, a leave doesn’t always have to be well planned or paid. It can easily be because of your contract ended, you tried to quit, or even if you got laid off. Realize that in today’s job market, it’s okay to give yourself permission to take a break from work. There are so many benefits.
- Avoid or recover from burnout – Did you know that two thirds of employees experience some level of burnout in corporate America? I had no idea it’s that high. However it makes sense as I didn’t even realized I was burnout until after I went on leave. It took me a good four weeks before I even started to exhale and relax. It’s now been 9 weeks and I feel balanced again.
- Gain perspective – Things don’t look so significant once you put some distance between you and daily work. You will see the bigger picture of your life and give you awareness of what’s really more important for you
- Spend quality time with loved ones – Time is so much more valuable than money in the long run. Do not wait until tomorrow or retirement to do this. I rather “retire often” with these short term leaves throughout my career than keep waiting until that magical 65 years old.
- Live longer – I don’t have any evidence but I know I will live longer just because I gave myself this time to refresh myself and take care of family matters. Disease comes from “dis – ease,” in another word stress. Lowering my stress level and being able to focus on the most important people in my life is fulfilling and rewarding.
- Enjoy life – What’s on your bucket list to do? Are you doing them? Taking a leave will give you the time to enjoy life now. You have worked hard, so why wait? I had a chance to finally go to Portugal this summer to celebrate my 15 year wedding anniversary. I haven’t been to Europe for 20+ years and I get a chance to share all the daily activities and beautiful photos with my parents who cannot travel yet. I also went to Sweden to watch my 14 year old play soccer in the largest youth soccer tournament in the world. I also had a chance to witness a different kind of living in Europe – much slower pace and so much more time to enjoy wine, food, culture, and history.
Can You Afford to Take a Leave?
Most people don’t take leaves because they don’t want to leave money on the table or they worry about their job security. Personal leaves are unpaid but enable you to keep medical coverage. From a financial standpoint, you can afford it you have already worked for 10 years and had a chance to accumulate savings.
Figure out your monthly expenses and see if you have the funds to cover your leave. In most case, I bet you have it. It’s more a matter of deciding to spend it on yourself and not feel guilt or stressed.
As for the money on the table, well, there will always be more money to be earned. When will you prioritize time over money? You don’t want to wait until you have to as it will usually be too late then.
As for job security, there is no such thing in today’s market anyways. Do you believe you have skills? Will your skills still be relevant after a few months? the answer is likely yes for both. There are more opportunities than ever to find jobs these days. This is why many more companies are allowing employees to take leave. It’s a win win as it’s more beneficial for companies to retain existing employees than hire new ones.
Still Not Sure?
It’s okay. Each leave that I planned took at least 3 months to consider and ask for. It’s not an easy decision. What I know though is if you decide to do it, you will love it. Here is another piece of good news. Taking leaves from work is getting to be more of the norm than ever. With the great resignation, many professionals are rethinking about work and life. If you are thinking of quitting your job anyway, taking a leave first instead of quitting may be a great option.
Need more info, here is a great article from US News on How to ask for a leave from work. Life is not just about work. Just do it and take a leave. You can enjoy life, rethink about life, and gain a new perspective.
Your comments: Are you thinking about taking a leave? what’s stopping you? I look forward to your questions and comments
Like this article: Then help me share it on Twitter, Linkedin, Facebook, etc…
New to my site: Start here – Soft Skills – How to Succeed like an Executive