Soft skills

What is Interpersonal Communication – Definition and 3 Myths

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Effective interpersonal communication at work is essential to your career success. Yet it’s often not clearly understood nor easy to improve. After researching on Google regarding how others discuss interpersonal communication, I will offer my own perspective – a detailed definition of what is interpersonal communication and 3 most common myths about interpersonal communication. ...  read more

Career Success – How to Succeed like an Executive

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There are five types of job skills essential to career success.

  1. Hard skills – These are trade skills (like programming, accounting, finance, chemistry) that you need to perform your job.
  2. People skills – There are 20 soft skills (including communication skills, interpersonal skills) you should develop on how to best work and interact with others so you can influence their perception of you, your work and motivate their actions.
  3. Self management skills – There are eight soft skills (including patience, stress management) you need to manage how you perceive yourself and how you react to adverse situations
  4. Work Attitude – Establish positive work attitude (such as hard working, loyal, willing to learn) that is typically valued by companies
  5. Professionalism – Practice the basic etiquette of business in the way you dress, speak, and act
After working 15 years in corporate america with a Stanford bachelors degree and a Wharton MBA, I realized that good schooling could only take me so far.  The secret to succeeding like an executive (VP level and above) in any corporation is actually mastering soft skills (20 People Skills and 8 Self Management skills).  Here is why
  • Soft skills are the most difficult to master and will separate you from the mass. Almost anyone can learn basic Professionalism and the necessary Work Attitude that are fundamental to career success.
  • As for hard skills, many schools have rigorous programs regarding how to develop specific hard skills.  As long as you are smart and can study hard, you can master the hard skills.   Soft skills, on the other hand, are not taught well in school and require dedicated effort and practice while working to develop.
  • Soft skills is what will get you promoted to executive level (VP and above).  If you look at any executives you admire today, I would bet that the reasons they advanced to that level is heavily due to their leadership skills, communication skills, or ability to inspire action and deliver results – all soft skills. You can find many engineers with great hard skills that have had difficulty achieving executive level due to lack of soft skills.

If you want to achieve career success and executive level status in any corporation, then it’s important to develop your soft skills.  You can read books and take training; you can learn from your mentors; you can practice at work every day to develop these skills.  I can also help. ...  read more

Examples – Interpersonal Skills are More Important than Hard Skills

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Have you ever wondered why having the best answer to a business problem sometimes makes no impact at all? In school, we were always incentivized to give the best answer – the best answer leads to good grades, which lead to job offers. So, naturally I brought that mentality to work. I would work tirelessly to get the perfect, best answer, but was often disappointed when nobody seemed to interested in hearing it. ...  read more

Making a Good First Impression – 5 Tips

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My husband and I are addicted to this Smart TV show on USA – Suits.  It’s about two lawyers – Harvey, a hot-shot,  young Senior Partner, at a prestigious law firm; and Michael, a “good will hunting” type, smart-mouthed Associate that Harvey just hired.  Michael has a photographic memory, but no official law degree or experience.   Harvey is tough on Michael, but is also grooming him for the fast track in the Law firm. ...  read more

Overwhelmed at Work? Six Practical Solutions

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Feeling overwhelmed at work sucks – you feel stressed, tired; your mind is racing with 1000 thoughts but limited clarity; and you can’t sleep well at night as your mind is constantly worrying about how to get it all done and what happens if you don’t.   Sound familiar?

I know the feeling well.  Being an overachiever and a consultant for 12+ years,  I have experienced intense pressure at work – some real, some self-imposed – and have often felt overwhelmed.    The good news is there are six practical solutions to stop feeling overwhelmed at work quickly.   Some of the solutions may seem counter-intuitive but I know from personal experience that they work.  If you are reading this article, then you have already accomplished the first step – recognizing that you are overwhelmed and need help.   Now, take a deep breathe and gain control again. ...  read more

Hard Skills vs. Soft Skills – Difference and Importance

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Hard Skills vs. Soft Skills – What’s the difference and is one more important than the other to your career success?  In my recent articles – What are Soft Skills and List of 28 Soft Skills, I offered detailed definitions of soft skills.  Here I want to highlight three key differences between hard skills and soft skills and how their importance depends highly on the career you are in. ...  read more

Five Qualities of A Good Mentor

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We all need good mentors to help guide us in our career and life, but not all mentors are created equal.  There are five qualities a good mentor should have:

  1. Someone you respect in the area you want mentorship on –  For example, if you want a mentor for achieving work life balance, then that mentor should have wisdom and experience in that area.
  2. Mutual rapport and respect –  Someone you can speak to honestly about your situations and ask questions; someone you respect, but someone who is inspired by your potential.  You can read more about this in my article “Mentorship Model – Mutual Mentorship or Pay it Forward”.
  3. Someone interested in helping others grow, and knows how to do it – Not all brilliant people know how to teach what they know, and the same is true for mentors. You need to find someone that is interested in helping others, and someone that will give you sound, objective advice.  This quality is especially critical for a mentor, as you will place a lot of trust in them.  You need to make sure he or she provides advice based on your best interests.
  4. Someone that is supportive, not controlling –A mentor is a guide, not someone that tells you what to do.    A mentor should challenge you to look at all aspects of a situation, and guide you to make your own decision.  A mentor is not someone who criticizes you for your mistakes.  You should find someone who can support and encourage you in your endeavor to develop your skills, even if you make mistakes along the way.
  5. Someone who is willing to be your mentor – you have to ask someone to be your mentor.  Great mentors are also busy people, and can only have the capacity to mentor a few people well.  See my article “How to Ask Someone to be Your Mentor” for specific dos and don’ts.

Once you make sure that this person has the four qualities above, then you can proactively build the relationship for them to be your mentor. Besides the above five qualities of a good mentor, I would also advise the following: ...  read more