Five Qualities of A Good Mentor

We all need good mentors to help guide us in our career and life, but not all mentors are created equal.  There are five qualities a good mentor should have:

  1. Someone you respect in the area you want mentorship on –  For example, if you want a mentor for achieving work life balance, then that mentor should have wisdom and experience in that area.
  2. Mutual rapport and respect –  Someone you can speak to honestly about your situations and ask questions; someone you respect, but someone who is inspired by your potential.  You can read more about this in my article “Mentorship Model – Mutual Mentorship or Pay it Forward”.
  3. Someone interested in helping others grow, and knows how to do it – Not all brilliant people know how to teach what they know, and the same is true for mentors. You need to find someone that is interested in helping others, and someone that will give you sound, objective advice.  This quality is especially critical for a mentor, as you will place a lot of trust in them.  You need to make sure he or she provides advice based on your best interests.
  4. Someone that is supportive, not controllingA mentor is a guide, not someone that tells you what to do.    A mentor should challenge you to look at all aspects of a situation, and guide you to make your own decision.  A mentor is not someone who criticizes you for your mistakes.  You should find someone who can support and encourage you in your endeavor to develop your skills, even if you make mistakes along the way.
  5. Someone who is willing to be your mentor – you have to ask someone to be your mentor.  Great mentors are also busy people, and can only have the capacity to mentor a few people well.  See my article “How to Ask Someone to be Your Mentor” for specific dos and don’ts.

Once you make sure that this person has the four qualities above, then you can proactively build the relationship for them to be your mentor. Besides the above five qualities of a good mentor, I would also advise the following: ...  read more

Managing Interns: Tips and Advice

I saw a set of questions online about how to manage and mentor marketing interns.  As I used to manage and mentor lots of consultants including interns when I worked for Deloitte, I wanted to share my 2 cents.   The questions didn’t specify whether these were high school, college, or MBA interns, so I will assume these are college interns ...  read more

How to Improve Your Soft Skills?

NEW SOFT SKILLS GUIDE + NEWSLETTER

How to improve your soft skills is an important question to answer for your career success.  It is also a tough question to answer in general as soft skills encompass many different skills in two general categories.

  • self management skills– those we use to manage our emotions, self-perception, and reactions to unexpected situations. Examples of these soft skills include stress management, self-confidence, emotion control, etc…
  • people skills – those we use to influence how others perceive / receive us, our work, our ideas. Examples of these soft skills include communication skills, leadership skills, teamwork skills, ability to deal with difficult personalities.

Any one of these soft skills will take time to improve. At a high level, here are five tips I recommend to start improving your soft skills today...  read more

What are Soft Skills?

I must admit I had no idea what are soft skills when I graduated from college.   I quickly realized on my first job at McKinsey how my lack of some soft skills were affecting my performance reviews.  Here are some of the soft skills I lacked at that time.

  • Stress Management and People Management Skills – At 22 years old, I was assigned an assistant at McKinsey.  I treated her horribly when I was stressed out and I was immature to think I have the right to since she worked for me.   Needless to say, she was NOT jumping to help me all the time.
  • Confidence and Communication Skills – I was book smart and had great ideas on projects, but sometimes I was afraid to speak up when there were senior people in the room.  I had no idea how to structure my comments and I didn’t have the confidence to think they would care what I think.  McKinsey expects Analysts to voice their opinions.
  • Resilience / Office politics skills – I was blamed for something I didn’t do on a project.  It took me a few years to move on from this one.  My manager succeeded in blaming me because he knew how to play office politics better than me.  I had no close support from any partners.

After working 15 years in consulting with 20+ Fortune 500 companies dealing with all kinds of people, personalities, and unexpected situations, I have a much greater appreciation for how important soft skills are to achieve business success.   So I would like to offer my own definition of “what are soft skills” in practical terms (see below). ...  read more

Forgive and Forget – Key to Career Success

I had a real scare yesterday. My 3 year old daughter, Isabel, lost her balance and fell from an 8-feet-high rope ladder, head first. I screamed, and although I was a few steps away, I couldn’t reach her in time. She hit the dirt on the side of her head and right cheek. Luckily, her head does not seem to be injured. Besides a shiner on her cheek, she was just super scared. ...  read more

Office Politics – Should I leverage it to further my career?

leverage office politics

Early in my career, I have been burnt by office politics but not in the way you think.  I didn’t feel burnt because someone else sabotaged my job.  On the contrary, I concluded, I burnt myself because I didn’t understand or appreciate office politics and the importance of using it fairly and skillfully to protect and build my career advantage. ...  read more

Mentoring Model – Mutual Mentorship or Paying it Forward?

Yesterday, one of my friend sent me this article written by Steve Blank about  Mentors, Teachers, and Coaches.   I wanted to shared it with you to get your perspective.  Steve makes great distinctions about the difference between mentors vs. teachers vs. coaches.   I completely agree with this.  He says

  • Teachers, coaches and mentors are each something different.
  • If you want to learn a specific subject find a teacher.
  • If you want to hone specific skills or reach an exact goal hire a coach.
  • If you want to get smarter and better over your career find someone who cares about you enough to be a mentor.
  •  ...  read more