Soft Skills - Ask a Wharton MBA
Develop Soft Skills – Work Smart & Live More
Perhaps I am just getting older or perhaps it’s a life message that I need to hear. I heard of four deaths that happened to my immediate friend circles this week and am saddened by their loss. Two are my friends’ parent who died of old age and health issues in their 80s. At least they lived a full life. Two others are however people in their 50s and 60s. Life can be so short and brutal. ...
Happy Thanksgiving ! What a year it has been. I am grateful for your support, questions and comments throughout the year. I hope you are taking some time to enjoy this Thanksgiving with your loved ones and friends.
I also wanted to share this sweet
essay my 9 year old wrote last week. She is learning the basics of how to create an essay. It is simple but also cute and pure. It reminds me and hopefully all of you to enjoy the simple things in life as well. ...
Did you know we only have about 4000 weeks of time in our life? While the traditional definition of success always focused on money, status, and possessions, it’s a lie. The only thing that is truly limited in life is time. It doesn’t matter how rich and powerful a person is. That person also only has 4000 weeks just like you and I. ...
A few months ago, “Janet”, one of my best friends, sent me a shocking message. She was diagnosed with nerve deafness! “What the heck is that?”I asked. It meant she is mostly deaf in one ear and only salvages the hearing in her other ear with strong drugs and mandatory rest. 🙁 She added her doctors did not know the root cause. ...
Last month, I heard this great talk by Jyri Engestrom, a successful Internet entrepreneur on the topics of happiness. He said, most people have five regrets in life – all of which resonated with me. And you probably would agree these are the most common regrets as well. If so, then I ask you – why not address them now before you are dying so you can live life with no regrets.
Here are what these five regrets mean to me and what we can all do to live life without them today!
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me – It’s amazing how hard this actually is. The more of an overachiever we are the harder this is. This is because we instinctively like to compare our achievements and career progression with that of others (e.g, my former classmates, siblings, even friends) or what others we care about may expect of us (e.g, my dad). While common, the act of comparison is destructive and the more we do it the more we move away from knowing how to live a life true to ourselves.
What to do to live life with out this regret: Stop comparing! Whenever you catch yourself comparing, stop and move on to more important things in life.
I wish I didn’t work so hard – I worked my butt off the first 12 years of my life and it affected my health. So I already got this message from the universe that working too hard may not be worth it. Luckily my healthy issues were temporary. I think I grew up with the concept that if I am not working hard, then I am lazy and that’s bad. It sounds a little ridiculous when I write it down.
What to do to live life with out this regret: Create a new concept that replaces the one above – Working hard will lead me to miss out on life, so don’t miss out. Work smart instead and make time for life as well before it’s too late
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings – Many times we repress our feelings only to hold on to the hurt, frustration, etc.. too long. It’s not good for us. I am glad to say this is one that I actually do often at work and in life. I hope you do too. It’s liberating.
What to do to live life with out this regret: Learn to express yourself and then let it go. This does not mean blurt out whatever you think. Express yourself in a constructive way takes practice and finesse. The first step is to let yourself do it and overtime, you can improve on the finesse. This also doesn’t mean expecting others to agree with you. It’s about feeling complete. Once you had a chance to say your piece, accept that you at least tried whether the outcome is what you expect or not.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends – As I get older and have a family, I am finding less and less time to stay in touch with friends. It just seems like a year would go by and I would be busy everyday with work, family, blog, etc.. Well, I decided to change this and make keeping in touch with friends a priority as well.
What to do to live life with out this regret: Here is how I am doing it without too much effort.
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Are you stuck? Do you want something badly at work (e.g., promotion, work life balance, better boss, challenging assignment) but somehow can’t seem to take any action toward making it happen? You are not alone. Inertia, the inability to do something different from our routine, happens to all of us. How do you do overcome it? Take this pain and pleasure challenge!
First a story: My alarm rang sharply. It was 5:30am. I have been trying for six months to shift my yoga schedule from evenings to early mornings so I can spend more time with my kids and still work out So far, I have only made it to this class 4 times. Every Tuesday morning, I ask myself the same question after the alarm goes off – “Should I go to class today?” Today was no exception. My inner dialogue began to battle.
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It was our team’s assistant who told me about the Paris terrorist attack on Friday afternoon. Right before, I was busy updating a presentation and worrying about something I don’t even remember now. I quickly halted both to follow what was going on in Paris and contacted our neighbor to find out if his daughter and son are okay in Paris. I have yet to hear back.
My heart goes out to the 500+ victims and their families/ friends who are suffering this terrible tragedy. I don’t know about you, but the Paris terrorist Attack quickly put life in perspective for me. We may all be facing some bumps in our career or life, but relative to what happened in Paris, it’s all “small stuff.” This is a good time to step back from the everyday routine and think about what life and success truly mean to all of us?
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