Category Archives: Self promotion

How to Ask Someone to be Your Mentor – Dos and Donts

I am republishing this article with new content as my learning on how to ask someone to be your mentor has evolved. 🙂  Hope you will find it useful. We all need formal and informal mentors to help us grow and learn.   Young professionals have more of a need for formal mentors.   Seasoned professionals needs…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

How to Write a Good Self Evaluation – Follow 5 Tips

It’s self-evaluation time.  Are you ready to put your best foot forward? This is your chance to put the best representation of your work on permanent record and build your brand. Many people are too humble or too general in their self evaluation.  Don’t fall in that trap.  Being too humble will work against you….

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

How to Get Promoted as a Generalist in a Company Full of Specialists

Are you a “Generalist” or “Specialist” at your company?   Both exists in most companies and serve distinct purposes.  According to Merriam-Webster dictionary Generalist is defined as “a person who knows something about a lot of subjects.” –  a Partner in a consulting firm is  a generalist as he or she would sell work, build relationships, and…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

Farewell Letter to Coworkers – A Great Example

It’s never easy to say farewell to a company and a team.   However, this will happen many times in your career, as most of us have at least 7 different jobs until we retire.  While many farewell letters to coworkers are fairly standard and boring, it may serve you to take some time to craft…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

Career Advancement – How Louis Quadrupled His Income

Mastering soft skills is critical to your career advancement.   Louis Johnston, one of our executive authors, agrees.  He shared in this interview how mastering certain soft skills helped him skyrocket his career and quadruple his compensation. Louis started as an Online Marketing Associate, 10 years ago.  He has since been promoted to Manager, Director, Senior Director, and…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

How to be Successful at Work – 3 Questions Answered

The most frequently asked question I receive from readers is some version of how to be successful at work or in my career.   Below is the latest question I received in this category.   Ying, a Chinese immigrant working in the US used the Ask Me Anything tool inside the Soft Skills Gym to send…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

How to Get a Promotion – Top 5 Questions Answered

Even since I launched the first group coaching call on Insider Tips to Getting Promoted, I am pleased to received many great questions by email related to how to get a promotion at work.   Here are the top 5 most common questions and my perspective.  Overall, you will see a theme.  Besides being a good…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

Insider Tips to Getting Promoted – Group Coaching Call

We had an amazing first Group Coaching Call this past Tuesday.  The topic was Insider Tips to Getting Promoted.   I prepared the following materials and had a very interactive discussion with everyone for an hour. 3 Most Common Mistakes people make that jeopardizes their promotion – based on an article I drafted but haven’t published…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up
career change at 40

Mid Career Change – 4 Tips on How to Do it

Making a mid career change, a career change around the age of 40 or 45, is a courageous decision. It is possible for anyone in their mid-life to do this, as long as they understand the trade-offs involved. Below is a great question I received from a reader who is considering a mid career change,…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

Should I Negotiate Salary: How I Almost Made a $6,000 Mistake

“Should I negotiate my salary?” This is a question we will ask ourselves every time we get a job offer, especially for a job we want.    I recently had to go through this decision-making process, and I want to share my thoughts and what I learned with you.     I think many of us…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

How Gloria Successfully Recovered from Not Getting Promoted

Not getting the promotion we were expecting can be devastating to our self-image.   I am here to tell you that you are not alone.  In fact, not getting promoted can happen to the best of us.  What is important is how you handle this unexpected news and what you do next to keep advancing in…

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

Soft Skills: Why Effective Upward Communication is Key to Advancement

podcast-smallWe are giving public access to this recording on upward communication to showcase the type of content available in the Soft Skills Gym.  For more recordings like this one, sign up today.

Welcome to the first candid conversation with one of our Executive Authors, Louis Johnston.  Candid conversations are frank interviews I have with business executives regarding a personal story or some lesson they learned from their career.

Today, the topic is upward communication – how to effectively communicate with your boss and senior executives.  Louis has a wealth of knowledge, and is very humble at the same time. I love doing these interviews, and I learned a lot from his story. I hope you will, too.

To connect with Louis: Enter your comments at the end of this article, and subscribe to receive follow-up comments..

Also, let us know if these kinds of audio recordings are useful to you.  What else do you want to learn about upward communication?  Is the audio transcription below helpful?  Enter your comments below and let’s have a discussion.

Like this post? Help me out by sharing it on Linkedin, Email, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc.

Audio transcription of the podcast:

Lei: On my blog I talk a lot about the importance of effective communication. Today I want to talk to you about how to better communicate upwards. I know that you managed a team of seven or eight people, and I know you’ve mentioned that you’ve seen some challenges with these, that some of your team members have. So thank you for your time, and could you tell me a little bit about, from your perspective, why do you think communicating upward is so important to your team members’ career advancement?

Louis: Well, I think one big thing is it builds trust from the upper manager down, and having that rapport. It’s amazing how if someone at that level doesn’t understand what you’re doing, get insight into it, they’ll completely kind of push it off to the side. A lot of times you just, all the hard work that you do can go unnoticed, even though you think it’s being noticed because you’re saying something.

Lei: Oh.

Louis: The challenge is, what you’re saying is not something they may be listening to.

Lei: Or may not translate to mean something that you intended.

Louis: Correct, which means, why I’m saying they may not be listening to. They’ve got 20 things that they’re looking at every day, especially an executive. An executive is literally, I’ve heard stories that they’re going through 250 to 300 emails a day. So that’s basically, think about it, information overload at that point. They don’t need something more to clutter that process.

Lei: So what do you think are sort of some of the common challenges you see your team members when they communicate to you on having difficulty or when you see them communicating to someone senior. What are some of the things that they’re doing that you think people normally kind of do but really shouldn’t?

Louis: I think two things that I saw was that they’d dive into the weeds very quickly about details, and the other things is rambling on. What that shows the upper manager or an executive is that it, they’ll tend to have questions about how your organize your thoughts, if you think logically, and it’s not just about presenting, it’s about if you can communicate clearly.

Lei: Right.

Louis: You don’t want them questioning, because if you can’t think clearly, or if you can’t communicate it clearly, their idea is that you can’t…

Lei: You can’t think clearly.

Louis: You can’t think clearly and you don’t have a logical process, which is why the first thing they always ask for is a plan, right? Because they immediately want to see how you organize things and how your, your plan of attack.

Lei: And what’s the second challenge?

Louis: Well, those are the two things that I immediately saw. The one was diving into the weeds, and the second thing is rambling on.

Lei: Oh.

Louis: Where they just continuously talk, and its like they just keep branching off into different areas of those details.

Lei: Do you get the sense that when that happens, yourself or a senior person starts to question whether that person really understands how their work fits into the bigger picture, whether they understand whether they’re diving towards the results you’re hoping they’re driving towards.

Louis: Yeah I think there can be questions around if we’re on the same page, but I think immediately it’s more of a frustration thing. I think in the immediate, it’s frustration that, I have no idea what this person is talking about.

Lei: And why are they taking up my time.

Louis: That’s exactly it. That’s the second piece.

Lei: Great. So if you were going to mentor one of your team members about effective upward communication, what are some of the, let’s say three things that they could, that you would recommend that they could do tomorrow if they had to talk to a senior person?

Louis: Well I’ll give one concept with three things or sub-points to that. I think the one thing to practice is really being able to succinctly say what you’re talking about, and let me give an example Have a format in your mind. What I used to do was have a format and practice, and my format was, number one, setting context for what the discussion would be. Number two, giving any supporting bullet points to that context so that you could fill in the color a little more for that person. And then the third thing was, what is my asked? Why are we talking about this and what do I need from that executive or upper management? There may be some supporting points, to that ask. And then, the final piece that you may want to keep in your mind. You may or may not need to, is a timetable. Sometimes it’s like, where you give context around the timetable of what you’re, why you’re doing this, why you need this at this time. So for example, if you need them to act on something, you may not need it exactly at this moment. We may need it in three days, because we’re, on the seventh day, we’re going to be launching something.

Lei: OK. Would I be correct to say then, that’s part of the ask of be specific?

Louis: It could be.

Lei: And how you ask, so not only ask them to approve something, but say, hey, I need this approval by this time to meet this deadline.

Louis: I’d say so. I think that’s fair enough, just so that they can get it in their mind, because sometimes they’ve got, once again, I’ve seen executives have 200, 250, 300 emails they’re just going through. Sometimes they can’t wrap their head around that thing immediately. They may need to digest what you’re asking, what you’re talking about, and it helps to have some idea of when you need either feedback or what you need from that person.

Lei: Would you say that this recommendation is for any form of communication? Like email and personal?

Louis: I’d say, yeah, it’s a good question. I’d say that it’s a very fundamental basic way of looking at it for different forms of communication. One person told me, it might have even been you I think that said, when you communicate to executives, think in slides.

Lei: [laugh] Yeah.

Louis: And it’s really like bulleted form. Now, when I say slides I don’t mean the slides that some people do by writing out every single detail on a slide, which is basically writing a book with bullets. It’s really summarizing your thoughts in a very succinct way and being clear.

Lei: You mentioned succinct, is there a, what does that mean? Is there a time you’re saying, we need to get you across something in 30 seconds, in three minutes, in ten minutes?

Louis: So, I say succinct because I believe you need to be clear enough and focused, because if you’re not focused, things could go haywire really. It’s like you will not get to where you need to get to.

Lei: How long would you take, would you give one of your team members, to give you…

Louis: My attention span?

Lei: Yeah, exactly.

Louis: A trick that I used to use when I was communicating with my bosses before was, hey, can I grab three minutes? I would know what I want to talk about in those three minutes, and I would let them drive the process if they wanted it longer or if they let the discussion go longer, because then they’re driving it. They’ll ask questions. We’ll have a discussion, but what happens is, I believe, and maybe this was just for me, but I would disarm them by saying, I need three minutes, because in their head they’re like, great, let’s talk.

Lei: I only need to donate three minutes, and if…

Louis: Exactly, and the other thing that I felt, and maybe this is just my opinion. They want to know that you’re basically in control of the situation yourself.

Lei: Oh, i see.

Louis Now when you sit down, and this is one thing I was always careful of, and you start asking for too much time, you start tending to ask for direction is what they’re really hearing, You don’t want to really get a reputation of, this person needs too much direction.

Lei: Mm-hm, absolutely.

Louis: So that’s why I kept very brief, and if they wanted to provide more feedback, I always welcomed it, because of course, that’s what you want, right? And if they gave you more color around it, even better, because then you got more of their head space of where they’re at. So those were my ways of being able to kind of finesse.

Lei: So, in my mind, a summary of what you’re saying is, come across succinctly and actually set the expectation with anyone senior that, hey, I only need this amount of time, maybe three minutes, and in that three minutes comes across with three things. One is setting the context. Two is summarizing what you really want to talk to them about with some key bullets, but not all the details.

Louis: Just to give them color.

Lei: And make sure you actually have a very specific ask, so that they know what they’re supposed to help you with, but no ask in a way like, can you take care of this problem for me, because that becomes then, oh this person is needing me to carry them, not this person needs me to guide them. Very different perception.

Louis: Correct. Correct. Now you can use this format, you brought up a very good point is that, you don’t want them to solve the problem for you unless there’s a very specific thing that you need to escalate and it takes their level.

Lei: To tell, right?

Louis: Yes, because that’s very important also. They need to know that you will escalate something important to them.

Lei: But I think to be able to tell them exactly what you need them to do, like can you go talk to this person because really your level needs to be there to kind of sign off on this.

Louis: Correct.

Lei: So that they know the details of, it’s like a defined task that they can just do versus an open ended thing that they have to think about and try to figure out what they should do.

Louis: Yeah and it’s really fill in the gap, right? Where there’s a gap there, they can just get plugged in, because they’ll say, I’m here to help or if you need help, and what that really means is, you tell me what you need when you need it. I trust that you’re advanced enough.

Lei: And how hard was it for you to think about practicing this or getting into it, because you mentioned that you practiced this and when you coach others you talk about how you did it.

Louis: So, this is a very good question because actually, I didn’t even know the problem existed. I always though when I was a lot younger, I thought it was in reverse. If you showed how much detail you can give, people would be impressed because you knew your stuff. The reality of it was, that was so counter-intuitive to what is needed when you’re communicating upwards and managing upwards that it was a complete mistake, and that was one of the lessons I learned.

Lei: I love the fact you say three minutes, because not only you keep yourself in check of what you understand and really need from the other person, but you actually also have an open mind to gauge if that person is with you

Louis: Correct.

Lei: Because a lot of times some people will just go talk talk talk and they think the other person is with them, and the senior person may never even mention that they’re either confused or they feel like this person really needs a lot of help and all that stuff, so that advice is so key, remembering that you only have three minutes of someone’s attention.

Louis: I think so, and the one commodity that people can’t get back is time. That is the most important commodity, and as you go up the levels in rank, time becomes your enemy, right? It becomes more important to be able to respect someone’s time, I find, more and more.

Lei: At the end of the day, it seems like, I don’t know if you agree with this, if you communicate effectively upwards, then you are in effect showing that you understand where they come from, which means that you are gradually ready for that level.

Louis: I would agree. I would definitely agree. I think it just builds confidence from the senior manager down to the junior manager.

Lei: Great. Thank you for your time.

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

Someone Took Credit for Your Work – What to Do

In the work-place, is it better to ensure you individually are given credit for your work, or that the team benefits from your work? My team recently submitted a proposal of which I prepared more than 75%. In fact, of the 25% my analyst (who is junior to me) prepared, I had to revise significantly….

To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up

Speaking Up in Meetings – Why and How to Do it

speaking upWhen I first worked at McKinsey after college, I was pretty scared of speaking up.   I distinctly remember sitting in the large conference room with another analyst, our manager, the senior manager, and the Partner on the project, to discuss our strategy for a consumer business client.

The Partner discussed a strategy that frankly didn’t make sense to me, but he had 10+ years of experience, so I didn’t say anything. I was convinced that I didn’t know any better — I was only an Electrical Engineer with little business experience. I had some thoughts and suggestions, but I wasn’t sure if they were sound.

I was also afraid to ask questions — I didn’t want to sound stupid or foolish. After all, I didn’t want them to think that they hired the wrong person! Not only that, but it’s impolite to challenge authority in Asian culture. Even though McKinsey is an American company, I was working in Hong Kong. I was afraid that asking a question or making suggestions would be perceived badly, given my lack of experience.

The other analyst did speak up, but I don’t remember what he said.  I was too busy worrying about what I should say or not say.  At the end of the day, I was just scared, and defaulted to what’s safe – saying nothing.  While not speaking up feels safe, it can be detrimental to your work reputation and career advancement.  At the end of that project, I received a less than average rating for my lack of proactive participation.

I received this rating despite the fact that I built the Excel model that was core to the project’s execution, and despite having successfully completed competitive interviews for the client. Actually, the partner never knew that I built the excel model, or that I did the competitive interviews. What he experienced was the completely silent Lei during all of the discussions.

I remember the manager telling me — “We hired you for a reason, and we need you to voice your opinions. We don’t expect you to know everything or always be right, but we want to hear you try. That’s part of how you add value. Maybe not everything you say will be sound, but any new thinking will prompt us to expand in a new direction, and push us to develop a better solution.”

I realized that keeping my head down to do the work is not enough if I want to be appreciated for it. I have to speak up, especially in meetings with Senior people.

Why Speak up in Meetings

I learned quickly that speaking up is essential for three reasons:

  • Expand Your Reputation – remind people, especially senior people, that you exist and your participation adds value.  Work meetings are an opportunity to show your knowledge, ability to think critically, and help the work progress.   People respect others who can tactfully voice their opinions.  I may not have had the Partner’s experience, but I know my model and my competitive interviews.  I could have used that knowledge to ask a question or share an insight.
  • Build Your Confidence – The more you speak up, the more comfortable it will feel. You will not always say something smart, but no one else does either. Practice makes perfect. Only when you put yourself out there and speak up can you see what works and what doesn’t work. When things didn’t work well, shrug it off and acknowledge your efforts for showing up.
  • Those Who Speak up get Promoted Faster Speaking up shows that you are actively engaged and interested in helping the team solve an issue.  Every manager looks for leadership qualities in their team members.  Speaking up is one way to show leadership qualities that demonstrate to your manager that you are ready for the next level.  Plus, the more senior you get, the more you have to speak up.

Speaking Up in Meetings – 5 Tips

Speaking up takes practice. You cannot expect to become good at it overnight. Heck, I still practice doing it well in all group settings. I was a shy, Asian engineer when I started my career. Now I like to talk, but I can still feel the discomfort when I speak up in a new group setting. I just learned to accept the feeling and speak up anyway. Here are 5 tips on how you can speak up effectively:

  1. Listen Actively  – This is easier said than done.  We are sometimes so busy worrying about what we are going to say, and whether we should say anything, that we forget to listen to others.   Leave your doubts at the meeting door and focus your mind on listening to the issue being discussed at the meeting, instead of your fears about public speaking.  You cannot easily join the conversation if you don’t know what other people have said already.
  2. Ask Questions – Sometimes the simplest way to speaking up at a meeting is to ask a question.
  3. Answer a Question –  The next best way is to answer a question that was posed to everyone.
  4. Share a Finding– Since you are likely to be working on something that is relevant to the issues that are being discussed at the meeting, find an appropriate time to share your findings to help the group learn.  
  5. Just Do It, and Expect a 30% Success Rate – If you expect perfection, then you may never speak up.  You will make it mean too much when your comments didn’t sound smart or add value.  Many comments said in a meeting have no value.  It’s ok.  The important thing is to make yourself practice.  The more you practice, the more you have a chance to get better.

Get out of your comfort zone and speak up in meetings.  Only when you get out of your comfort zone can you develop new skills.  To practice, do this workout – Speaking Up Examples. You’ll find step-by-step instructions and examples about asking questions, answering questions, and sharing findings.

Best wishes to your career success.  See you at the Top.

Like this post? Help me out by sharing it on Linkedin, Email, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc.


To read more of this page, please login or sign up for Soft Skills Gym membership
Log In Sign up